Breaking News: Man caught smoking cigarette on plane. FBI,CIA,SEC,vow to try him as a terrorist!!

2010 January 26
by

RP News Service:

An American man was arrested on a plane flying from Miami to Pittsburgh for lighting up a cigarette. After he did so, the Federal Agents (five) jumped up and tasered the man. The plane landed and he was handed over to the FBI, who immediately water boarded him to find out where he purchased the cigarette. Then the CIA waterboarded him again to find out how many other smokers were involved in this conspiracy and which countries he had been in the last 20 years.
Barack_Obama_Still_Smoking-1.jpg picture by bc3b

The Obama Administration immediately released a statement, which follows: “No doubt this man is a threat and not acting alone. We will get all the facts, then read him his miranda rights just before we have him shot. We cannot allow the enemies of the country to just think they can smoke a cigarette just anywhere, because it is a dire threat to the country. Every agency is task to cancel all leaves and work 24 hours a day to get all cigarette smokers arrested and detained in Detroit, until this war on Smokers is over. THIS WILL NOT STAND.

Oops, it was found that he was trying to light his bomb laden shorts with the cigarette, so he was read his miranda rights. The justice department just announced that he is being released since he was only trying to blow up the plane instead of smoking the cigarette. He did not inhale. He will serve as a community organizer as punishment in the Arab community of Detroit. The whole Obama administration issued an apology to the man and promised him a job in the administration.

55 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 January 26 6:11 pm
    [1]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    Thanks for adding the picture, it is a hoot!!!

  2. 2010 January 26 6:12 pm
    [2]
    JustMary permalink

    involved in this conspiracy and which countries he had been in the last 20 years.

    Birther! 😆

  3. 2010 January 26 6:14 pm
    [3]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    That is PROUD birther, to you, JM!!!!

    😆

  4. 2010 January 26 6:30 pm
    [4]

    RACIST!!! 😉

  5. 2010 January 26 6:36 pm
    [5]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    The name of the non-inhaling would be bomber is Ali Brack Hussien Mohamed Obammerjammer from Buttheadistan

  6. 2010 January 26 6:50 pm
    [6]
    mpthompson permalink

    Looks like an economic terrorist to me.

  7. 2010 January 26 6:52 pm
    [7]
    drdog09 permalink

    He will be cleared once it is found out he is a supporter of the tobacco lobby.

  8. 2010 January 26 6:57 pm
    [8]

    (OT)
    Any have or play this game, looks great if you like SimCity series (original series).
    http://www.citiesxl.com

  9. 2010 January 26 7:08 pm
    [9]
    justrand permalink

    you’re welcome, RP…it just seemed to fit! 🙂

  10. 2010 January 26 7:09 pm
    [10]
    drdog09 permalink

    Being in a snarky mood, it would be interesting to have all the mayors of the largest 50 cities play this game over a week time period. Anybody who goes bust in the simulator loses their position as mayor.

  11. 2010 January 26 7:11 pm
    [11]
    drdog09 permalink

    HA is reporting yet another piece of content that did not have peer review has been found in the IPCC report. Its almost to the point now, it would be easier to look for that which IS peer reviewed. Fewer entries.

  12. 2010 January 26 7:18 pm
    [12]
    drdog09 permalink

    I have stumbled across this website and its pretty good — http://www.ihatethemedia.com/

  13. 2010 January 26 7:29 pm
    [13]
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    CrappyCare – pull back and counterattack is now the Democrats/lefitst plan for the cramdown – I imagine they are waiting for more “retirements” – the price probably went up significantly to purchase those “yes” votes!

    http://apnews.excite.com/article/20100127/D9DFQ84O0.html

    “A week after the loss of a Massachusetts Senate seat – their 60th vote – cost Democrats undisputed control of the congressional agenda, leaders are still casting about for a way forward. Given the congressional schedule, it could be weeks – the end of February at the earliest – before they act.

    “There are no easy choices,” acknowledged House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, D-Md, insisting that the goal remains the same: to pass far-reaching legislation that would expand coverage, reduce costs and improve quality.

    “I think right now it’s a time-out and the leadership is re-evaluating,” said Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif. “They’ve asked us to keep our powder dry.”

    “I think effectively we’re going to set health care reform aside,” said independent Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut. “I don’t think they’re ready to move now because there’s no clear path forward.”

    Reid said he’ll keep talking with House Democrats and White House officials, noting that the Senate-passed bill is good for the year.

    Two centrist senators threw up a new roadblock. Sens. Evan Bayh, D-Ind., and Blanche Lincoln, D-Ark. – both face re-election this year in Republican-leaning states – said they would oppose using a special budget-related procedure to go around Republican opponents in the Senate, a calculated risk sure to inflame critics on the political right.

    Even as Bayh and Lincoln made their concerns known, House Democratic leaders were trying to get their rank and file to accept a modified version of the Senate bill.”

  14. 2010 January 26 7:33 pm
    [14]

    10 – Dr. what sucks and is cool in the same way is they implemented most of an idea I had for Maxis back in the late 90’s, a mmorpg where with the component they have @ cities xl, only with the addition of a live economy semi-synced with real life data + the addition of province, state, and world government. Ie good mayors could get voted into province,state, and larger goverment roles (in addition to running there town) where they would have to occasionally vote on stuff that would effect minor things in the game environment as well as influence the economy in said areas.

    Back in the day I wrote it all up in like 15 page plan and sent it off to Maxis hoping they would take it and maybe run with it when the computing power was out there. I should have kept it and patented the idea or something though to do it I would of had to build at least a prototype first. ;( Take secondlife + citiesXl + politics and I think you have one hell of a game, not to mention a research gold mine.

  15. 2010 January 26 7:36 pm
    [15]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    JR, Fits Perfectly. I should have thought of it myself and put a caption under it “picture of smoking man”

    Thanks

  16. 2010 January 26 7:36 pm
    [16]

    12 haha that was funny, I liked this one.

  17. 2010 January 26 7:37 pm
    [17]

    lol cheggit..

    #

    James O’Keefe’s next assignment was going to take him into the White House. According to sources, he said it would have been far easier than Sen. Landrieu’s office. I do not doubt it.(Of course, I just made that up but sounds highly feasible.)

    Comment by Snake Plisken — January 26, 2010 @ 10:26 pm

  18. 2010 January 26 7:39 pm
    [18]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    Drd. thanks. added to my faves

  19. 2010 January 26 7:39 pm
    [19]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    KnH. A riot.

  20. 2010 January 26 7:43 pm
    [20]

    wow Marines just pulled out another survivor late today in haiti, amazing dude was still alive.

  21. 2010 January 26 7:44 pm
    [21]

    omfg now Obama says he didn get the process right so far but he’s gotten the policies right?

    This guy is hilarious.

  22. 2010 January 26 7:44 pm
    [22]
    drdog09 permalink

    KH, you still ought to patent your idea. But instead of suggesting the game format, turn it into a process patent. If approved by USPO, go shop it around at some patent trolls for $50-60k.

    17, you get the double meaning of ‘Snake Plisken’ in that comment?

  23. 2010 January 26 7:48 pm
    [23]
    drdog09 permalink

    Well, what are the odds that Health Care is NOT mentioned in the SOTU??

  24. 2010 January 26 7:49 pm
    [24]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    DrD. I don’t.

  25. 2010 January 26 7:52 pm
    [25]
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    #23 Less then zero – in fact, the “Annotied Leader” is supposed to make another huge con, er I mean sale job on it….

  26. 2010 January 26 7:55 pm
    [26]

    22 – lol I do, but that’s his name anyway. 😉

  27. 2010 January 26 7:56 pm
    [27]
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    Does this sound like anyone we know?

    http://andrews.blogtownhall.com/2010/01/26/a_thought_on_intelligence.thtml

    “Now, clearly, one’s educational credentials are hardly a good measure of an idea’s worth, as we all know those who have received quite extensive education yet have no sense at all. In addition, thanks to the politicization of many departments or entire universities, many educational credentials mean next to nothing, or mean at best an ability to comply with certain dogmas while displaying a minimal intellectual ability.

    But what about IQ? Is that meaningless?

    In one sense, yes it is. If you think about it, intelligence is simply a measure of pattern matching ability. While that may be a useful measure of one’s raw intellectual potential, the upper limit of one’s potential, it does not mean one will meet that potential.

    Let us think of it this way. A computer, in terms of accuracy and speed can perform mathematical operations better than any human known. Yet, if programmed improperly, the results are no more reliable than the thoughts of the slowest human moron. Would you accept an obviously absurd argument just because it came from “a really fast computer”? IQ is a similar measure. Given the proper training, an individual with a high IQ has great potential, but improperly educated, all that IQ means is elaborate and intricate errors.”

  28. 2010 January 26 7:56 pm
    [28]

    Want to watch the fools of Oregon likely for more taxes and more spending?

    http://gov.oregonlive.com/election/ (results due in a few minutes)

  29. 2010 January 26 8:01 pm
    [29]

    opps +”vote” for..

  30. 2010 January 26 8:02 pm
    [30]

    27 – I’ll take take The current president of the US for 200$ alex.

  31. 2010 January 26 8:04 pm
    [31]
    drdog09 permalink

    Snake Plisken was a character played by Kurt Russell in two scifi flicks. In one of them, the character was sent into a NYC which had been turned into penal colony to rescue the President whose plane had crashed therein.

    O’Keefe sent to save –> President –> WH. Uhm. Sure…..

  32. 2010 January 26 8:12 pm
    [32]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    Thanks, Drd

  33. 2010 January 26 8:13 pm
    [33]

  34. 2010 January 26 8:15 pm
    [34]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    Coyote

    Obama is clearly educated (Badly) beyond his intelligence, and is certainly not intelligent for the job he has at the moment.

  35. 2010 January 26 8:15 pm
    [35]
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    No pressure on this guy:

    http://www.americanthinker.com/2010/01/the_speech_needed_to_save_the.html

    “The governor should acknowledge that Republicans lost their way for a while. Admit it. But now the scales have fallen from your eyes. This administration’s and Congress’s attempt to steamroll their destructive, radical agenda across this land has shaken the GOP out of its lethargy. The vision is crystal clear:

    •Republicans are the party of limited government and free markets.
    •Republicans are the party of liberty.
    •Republicans are the party of principle.
    •Republicans are the party of all the people.
    •And this is because Republicans are the party of the United States Constitution.

    These are the only principles that can guarantee — to the extent anything can be guaranteed — life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And they have a 235-year track record of unmatched success in making the United States that “shining city on a hill.” It may yet remain so…

    Republicans want to give back to the People what is theirs by right. Democrats use divisive rhetoric, intimidation tactics, misinformation, and lies to extract ever more wealth from an ever-shrinking pool of hardworking individuals.

    To those elected Democrats who have their own epiphany and choose to shed their despotic impulses, the GOP should say, “Come along with us on the road to restoration of our Republic. We will welcome you with open arms.”

    If, however, they continue to insist on budget-busting, economy-wrecking, national security-threatening, divisive public policies, then the GOP needs to publicly pledge to fight them with every fiber of their beings.

    That is the message the GOP needs to convey. I am sure the governor can put it in better words than I, but he should make no mistake: A lot is riding on this speech, and We the People will be listening.

    If Republicans intend to ride the crest of the grassroots tsunami, their message to the Democrats must be unambiguous: NO WAY!”

  36. 2010 January 26 8:15 pm
    [36]

    31 – I know. I was just trying to say snake didn’t use that name just for that post is all…

  37. 2010 January 26 8:18 pm
    [37]
    justrand permalink

    We still need to decide if we’re playing “BS Bingo” for the SOTU tomorrow night…and what the rules are?!?

    For those who don’t drink you can substitute your favorite alternative vice (chocolate, ice cream, ???)

    But we need a list of phrases and words, like:
    – Inherited
    – Obstruction
    – “I” (though we should bundle these into 5s or 10s)

    just kicking the ball off here! 🙂 (though maybe JM can get a thread on this going in the morning)

  38. 2010 January 26 8:20 pm
    [38]
    justrand permalink

    KH…is Oregon REALLY gonna do that???

  39. 2010 January 26 8:23 pm
    [39]
    gnqanq permalink

    JR – just more refugees moving leaving a Blue State going to a Red State.

  40. 2010 January 26 8:25 pm
    [40]
    drdog09 permalink

    KH, just me reading too much into I guess.

    I like JR, be asking the question — are they nuts? I see from your last post its only a slight lead for the NO vote on the taxation. It boggles my mind that there are that many people into class/economic envy out there. The Loons are in almost total control.

  41. 2010 January 26 8:27 pm
    [41]
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    CrappyCare – a “healthy” reminder that it will get you freakin’ killed to save the govt money!

    http://www.cato-at-liberty.org/2010/01/26/groopman-on-how-behavioral-economics-undermines-the-case-for-central-planning/

    “Groopman on How Behavioral Economics Undermines the Case for Central Planning

    Posted by Michael F. Cannon

    In The New York Review of Books, oncologist and author Jerome Groopman delivers a stunning rebuke to those in the Obama administration (read: OMB director Peter Orszag) who think the federal government can improve health care quality by telling doctors how to practice medicine:

    in the Senate health care bill…Doctors and hospitals that follow “best practices,” as defined by government-approved standards, are to receive more money and favorable public assessments. Those who deviate from federal standards would suffer financial loss and would be designated as providers of poor care…

    Over the past decade, federal “choice architects”—i.e., doctors and other experts acting for the government and making use of research on comparative effectiveness—have repeatedly identified “best practices,” only to have them shown to be ineffective or even deleterious.

    For example, Medicare specified that it was a “best practice” to tightly control blood sugar levels in critically ill patients in intensive care. That measure of quality was not only shown to be wrong but resulted in a higher likelihood of death when compared to measures allowing a more flexible treatment and higher blood sugar. Similarly, government officials directed that normal blood sugar levels should be maintained in ambulatory diabetics with cardiovascular disease. Studies in Canada and the United States showed that this “best practice” was misconceived. There were more deaths when doctors obeyed this rule than when patients received what the government had designated as subpar treatment (in which sugar levels were allowed to vary).”

  42. 2010 January 26 8:28 pm
    [42]

    Nope… They’re not going too.. they now have.

    (~75% in)
    State Ballot Measure No. 66
    View results by county

    Raises tax on household income at and above $250,000 (and $125,000 for individual filers). Reduces income taxes on unemployment benefits in 2009. Provides funds currently budgeted for education, health care, public safety, other services
    Votes Percent
    _________________ _________________
    Yes Votes 434,224 54.13%
    No Votes 368,015 45.87%
    _________________ _________________
    Totals: 802,239 100%

    State Ballot Measure No. 67
    View results by county

    Raises $10 corporate minimum tax, business minimum tax, corporate profits tax. Provides funds currently budgeted for education, health care, public safety, other services
    Votes Percent
    _________________ _________________
    Yes Votes 431,112 53.79%
    No Votes 370,322 46.21%
    _________________ _________________
    Totals: 801,434 100%

  43. 2010 January 26 8:30 pm
    [43]

    Good news for ID, and NV.

  44. 2010 January 26 8:30 pm
    [44]
    drdog09 permalink

    IF the BSB is going to be on word association then —

    perceived
    unfortunate
    historic
    freeze

    just to provide a few more…

  45. 2010 January 26 8:31 pm
    [45]
    gnqanq permalink

    You can not tax what you don’t have. Good luck with that Oregon when businesses and people who produce move out. Ask New York, New Jersey and California how that is working out.

  46. 2010 January 26 8:32 pm
    [46]

    you guys forgot

    Hard Work
    UNPRECEDENTED!

  47. 2010 January 26 8:33 pm
    [47]
    drdog09 permalink

    also

    unexpectedly

    a favorite of the MSM.

  48. 2010 January 26 9:08 pm
    [48]
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    Socialism kills – literally – the euro-trash and commie nations make life so bleak, unafforable, and hopeless that people do not even attempt to have families:

    “THE KIDS WILL BE ALRIGHT

    America’s population growth makes it a notable outlier among the advanced industrialized countries, says Joel Kotkin, a distinguished presidential fellow at Chapman University in Orange, Calif., and an adjunct fellow at the Legatum Institute in London.

    For example:

    The country boasts a fertility rate 50 percent higher than that of Russia, Germany or Japan and well above that of China, Italy, Singapore, North Korea and virtually all of eastern Europe.
    Add to that the even greater impact of continued large-scale immigration to America from around the world.
    By the year 2050, the U.S. population will swell by roughly 100 million, and the country’s demographic vitality will drive its economic resilience in the coming decades.
    This places the United States in a radically different position from that of its historic competitors, particularly Europe and Japan, whose populations are stagnant, explains Kotkin. The contrast between the United States and Russia, America’s onetime primary rival for world power, is particularly dramatic:

    Some 30 years ago, Russia constituted the core of a vast Soviet empire that was considerably more populous than the United States.
    Today, even with its energy riches, Russia’s low birth and high mortality rates suggest that its population will drop to less than one-third that of the United States by 2050.
    Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has spoken of “the serious threat of turning into a decaying nation.”
    An equally dramatic and perhaps more critical demographic shift is taking place in East Asia, says Kotkin:

    Over the past few decades a rapid expansion of their work force fueled the rise of the “East Asian tigers,” the great economic success stories of the late-20th and early-21st centuries.
    Yet that epoch is coming to an end, not only in Japan and Korea but also in China, where the one-child policy has set the stage for a rapidly aging population by mid-century.
    Within the next four decades, most of the developed countries in both Europe and East Asia will become veritable old-age homes: A third or more of their populations will be over 65, compared with only a fifth in America. Like the rest of the developed world, the United States will certainly have to cope with an aging population and lower population growth, but in relative terms the county will boast a youthful, dynamic demographic, says Kotkin.

    Source: Joel Kotkin, “The Kids Will Be Alright,” Wall Street Journal, January 23, 2010.

    For text:

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704509704575018990188917592.html

  49. 2010 January 26 9:13 pm
    [49]
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    CLASS WAR: HOW PUBLIC SERVANTS BECAME OUR MASTERS
    Government employees have turned themselves into a coddled class that lives better than its private-sector counterpart, and with more impunity. In effect, the public’s servants have become our masters, says Steven Greenhut, a columnists with the Orange County Register.

    There was a time when government work offered lower salaries than comparable jobs in the private sector but more security and somewhat better benefits. These days, government workers fare better than private-sector workers in almost every area — pay, benefits, time off, and job security:

    According to a 2007 analysis of data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics by the Asbury Park Press, the average federal worker made $59,864 in 2005, compared with the average salary of $40,505 in the private sector.
    Across comparable jobs, the federal government paid higher salaries than the private sector three times out of four, the paper found.
    The Obama administration has extended the hiring binge started by President Bush:

    The executive branch employment (excluding the Postal Service and the Defense Department) slated to grow by 2 percent in 2010 — and more than 15 percent if you count temporary Census workers.
    The average federal salary (including benefits) is set to grow from $72,800 in 2008 to $75,419 in 2010, CBS reported.
    But the real action isn’t in what government employees are being paid today; it’s in what they’re being promised for tomorrow, says Greenhut:

    Public pensions have swollen to unrecognizable proportions during the last decade.
    In June 2005, BusinessWeek reported that more than 14 million public servants and 6 million retirees are owed $2.37 trillion by more than 2,000 different states, cities and agencies, numbers that have risen since then.
    State and local pension payouts, the magazine found, had increased 50 percent in just five years.
    People who are supposed to serve the public have become privileged elite that exploit political power for financial gain and special perks. It is a two-tier system in which the rulers are making steady gains at the expense of the ruled. The predictable results: Higher taxes, eroded public services, unsustainable levels of debt, and massive roadblocks to reforming even the poorest performing agencies and school systems. If this system is left to grow unchecked, we will end up with a pale imitation of the free society envisioned by the Founders, says Greenhut.

    Source: Steven Greenhut, “Class War: How Public Servants Became our Masters,” Reason, February 2010.

    For text:

    http://reason.com/archives/2010/01/12/class-war/

  50. 2010 January 26 9:16 pm
    [50]
    justrand permalink

    Oregon is insane…and every bordering State except Kalifornia will benefit.

    Within 24 months tax revenues will have fallen dramatically!

  51. 2010 January 26 10:24 pm
    [51]
    drdog09 permalink

    48, sounds familiar. I would hazard one thing that the good Dr. did not offer — the US only has a positive net population figure if you include net immigration in the numbers. If you remove that input, the replacement rate for the US drops to 1.8. That is not sufficient to maintain the present population.

    So our danger is, should Obammy turn us into a third world turdbowl, our growth rate will suffer as nobody will emigrate here. Then things just get progressively worse.

    Just sayin’.

  52. 2010 January 26 10:25 pm
    [52]
    drdog09 permalink

    JR, a 100 ton meteor strike on Portland would solve the situation readily enough. The rest of the state is fairly conservative.

  53. 2010 January 27 7:03 am
    [53]
    TLS permalink

    dr.d- my husband is from OR and is highly in favor of a meteor falling on Portland. Notice that the entire map is red except the top left corner, where you find Portland and some college towns. Sad.

  54. 2010 January 27 7:25 am
    [54]
    topdog permalink

    Very enjoyable, fun article – however, we must remember that Obama has identified some terrorists;
    he has named Sara Palin and all members of the tea party group.

  55. 2010 January 27 7:44 am
    [55]
    JustMary permalink

    Indeed he has…..and I am pretty sure most of us will be getting our re-education bunker assignments soon.

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