Pithy Poetry Night
2010 February 5
Welcome once again to Pithy Poetry Night here at BJG! Tonight’s theme is “BLS” (there are some examples of what BLS really means here ), although if you don’t stick to the theme, no imaginary points will be deducted from your imaginary score. Will there be a prize tonight? Can’t say. If I were you though, I would do my best rhyme….because there just may be an extra morsel of food in hut 1369 for you.
As always…feel free to re-cycle stuff you’ve written here or elsewhere as well as fresh snarkiness based on all the splendiferousness of life under Barry’s gentle boot. Enjoy! (oh…and please don’t use words that rhyme with “Duck!”…or at least not ONE word that does). 
[1]
My children
Bow your heads, face Mecca, shed a tear for HellCare and repeat after me:
Our Obama
Who art in Washington
Hallowed be thy name
Thy corruption come
Thy fraud be done
In Washington as it is in Illinois
Give us this day our welfare check
And forgive us our Christianity
As we forgive those who have decency or ethics
And lead us not into integrity
But deliver us from honesty, amen
[2]
EMBARKING UPON ANOTHER NIGHT OF PITHY POETRY,
LET US STRIVE TO FAN THE FIRES OF RIVALRY,
THERE WILL BE NO RHYMES THAT SOUND LIKE DUCK,
AND CERTAINLY NOTHING TO MAKE US UPCHUCK,
JUST GOOD OLD FASHIONED REVELRY .
[3]
The elite effete Democrat snobs,
Say they’ll throw a bone to us slobs!
It’s a 3-letter word,
From Biden first heard,
And that 3-letter word is “JOBS”!
p.s., thank you, your Eminence, for that splendid benediction!
[4]
What word rhymes with duck?
Could it perhaps be muck?
Oh no oh no I don’t think so
I think the word is luck
But luck is not verboten, no
A neutral word it is
Perhaps the word that can’t be said
Perhaps that word is Huck
But Huck is just a shyster con
This couldn’t be a crime
What word of all could JM mean
That word we may not rhyme?
I think I know, I think I see
That word begins with f
It rhymes with duck I have it now
The word is firetruck!!
[5]
I find myself so overjoyed!
The Bureau thinks I’m now employed!
Or am I a discouraged seeker?
My faith in them is growing weaker
[6]
WHILE OUT ON THE CONGRESSIONAL FLOOR,
THERE WAS A PIMP AND HIS FAVORITE WHORE,
DINGY DIRTY HARRY, AND NANCY THE SKANK,
WERE DOING THE NASTY WITH BAWNY FWANK,
AFTER NOV 2 THIS TRIO WILL WHORE NO MORE.
[7]
You are welcome, my son
Go forth unto all the people now and tell them of The One With Perfectly Creased Trousers
[8]
IP 6
lol
[9]
Where’s Bruce? I can use a good laugh
[10]
Our ship of State is about to capsize!
Today’s BLS numbers are drawing flies!
Barry’s screwing the pooch,
My white butt he can smooch!
The Angry Mob’s gettin’ ready to uprise!
[11]
My daughter has a poopy diaper
What’s that I see ?
Bar-bra Boxer staring at me
[12]
The department of B(L)S
Thinks they can fool the U.S.
Of coarse Barry thinks the same
With his stories of Bush blame
Minus twenty thousand is a plus
Is what they’re telling us
And recovery’s on the path
Unless you do the math
The state of the union is a peach
According to Barry’s speech
But the economy’s in the tank
And there’s only Zero to thank
[13]
Barack is my Shepherd; I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down amongst gangsters
He leadeth me beside the stuffed ballot boxes
He restoreth my mendacity
He leadeth me in the paths of corruption for His names sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Republican Senators
I will fear no honesty: For thou art with me;
Thy sycophants and thy chief of staff, they comfort me
Thou preparest marijuana for me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with a ball peen hammer; My bong runneth over
Surely hysteria and psychosis shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of Barack forever
[14]
11. Mar,
Please delete the word “there” in post 11
[15]
Hickory dickory this sucks
All to spend more of our bucks
They erase and they fudge
But true numbers don’t smudge
BLS… what a bunch of schmucks
[16]
lol! Is MFG now banned for the use of the word “firetruck”?
[17]
The job market does indeed suck
Most searches end with no luck
The unemployed feel quite blue
Has anyone seen Yahoo?
[18]
DINGY DIRTY HARRY IS NO LONGER SO PLACID,
HIS POLITICAL PLANS LIKE HIS PHALLUS HAS GONE FLACCID,
WITH HIS FACE SO FORLORN, LIKE AMONKEY BUTT SHORN,
EVEN OUR RINOS HAVE GIVEN HIM THE HORN,
METHINKS HE IS NOW MAINLINING THE ANTI ACID.
[19]
Did we ever figure out what the anniversary for BJG is?
[20]
Through his ass darkly is his world view,
Transparency is a myth to flim flam you,
The rubes have caught on to his obfuscations,
they will no longer abide his aberrations,
Now is the time to tip his canoe.
[21]
Thought it was October 2008, shortly before The One Who Is Now A Lame Unicorn got elected
[22]
When Obama’s lips move, he’s telling lies.
His disdain for us he cannot disguise!
For three more long years,
We must suffer his sneers.
I can’t WAIT till he says his “Goodbyes”!
[23]
“Through his ass darkly…”
lololololol!
[24]
TLS…I think JM picked a date in February…we gotta pin her down!
[25]
Winning (A varation on ‘Sailing’ by Christoper Cross)
It’s not far down to paradise
At least it’s not for me
And if the win is right you can sail away
And find tranquility
The vote can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me
It’s not far to a better land
No reason to pretend
And if the win is right you can find the joy
Of innocence again
The vote can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me
Winning
Takes me away
To where I’ve always heard it could be
Just a dream and the win to carry me
And soon I will be free
Fantasy
It gets the best of me
When I’m worrying
All caught up in the misery
Every word is but a terror
Won’t you believe me?
It’s not far back to sanity
At least it’s not for me
And when the win is right you can sail away
And find serenity
The vote can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me
[26]
I make too many spelling mistakes
I love ice cream cakes
Come Saturday night I’m off to the Karioke bar
Remember BJG has a tip jar!
[27]
ip, that was a classic!
[28]
very nice, drdog! 2010!!!
[29]
The anniversary was officially on 10/23/08 but we can celebrate it any day.
[30]
The Wordpress anniversary I am still looking for, since that was when the site actually took off.
[31]
Gimme a minute
Must find some booze
Or my rhymes
Will make you snooze
[32]
The snows they are a fallin
And the White House staff is ballin
Seems Barry thought
It was coke but it’s not
Seems Algore will get a callin
[33]
HARRY AND NANCY SAT ON THE WALL,
HARRY AND NANCY HAD A GREAT FALL,
ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN,
DON’T GIVE A CRAP IF THEY’RE TOGETHER AGAIN,
THE VOTERS WILL DEEP SIX THEM COME THIS FALL.
[34]
Sung to “Say You’ll Be Mine” by Christopher Cross:
Hide the decline!
Hide the decline until the sun shines
Hide the decline!
And bring me the grant of a lifetime!
Well I just can’t tell the truth no more
Cause I am just a dirty science whore
It don’t seem right
I don’t have my grant tonight!
[35]
The name of my dog is “Dutch”.
As a puppy he’s often a bit much.
But he’s strong and he’s true
Like a man we once knew.
These days I miss Reagan so much!
[and I gotta go walk him!
)
[36]
I had a bill I could not pay
But didn’t want to pay it
Collectors called me night and day
Saying I betrayed my debt
I tried to think of a way out
And I think I finally get it!
I won’t cut back on other things
The answer is more credit!
My personal debt ceiling will have to expand again
But I think Obama will approve, for I emulated him.
[37]
MFG, like that one.
[38]
There’s Ayers and Wright and Rezko
Who we weren’t allowed to name
And the liberal social programs
That we aren’t allowed to blame
There’s Rahm and Jarrett at the WH
Who think a crisis is a game
Van Jones, A. Dunn and the school czar
We can’t say we’re glad you came
There’s a bunch of crooks and lobbyists
Including the first dame
But there’s also reps and senators
Who are pretty much the same
There’s “The One” himself
Who is honestly just lame
And his backroom deals
That make the UFC look tame
Now we have the BLS
Who’s numbers are insane
None of this makes any sense
to someone with a brain!!
[39]
You gave me the idea DD!
[40]
OMGosh TLS!!!!!!! Love it!!!
[41]
38. TLS,
I have seen better..hahahahaha
[42]
We pretend to work
And they pretend to pay us
Not Russia- U.S.!
[43]
OBAMMER THE POTUS MANCHURIAN,
HAS THE STENCH OF AN OVER RIPE DURIAN,
LEFT OUT IN THE SUN TO FESTER,
THIS WHITE HOUSE COURT JESTER,
WILL BE A VICTIM OF VOTERS CONTRARIAN.
[44]
Ok, here is my unofficial official anniversary poem
Happy Anniversary to BJG
and all the posters here
You’ve been kicking libs and taking names
On Wordpress for one full year
You’ve made a home for Patriots,
Who love this country dear
And the nature of your posts
Must give liberals a scare
In these threads you’ll find the things
that liberals really hate
Honor, history, courage, strength
Things that makes this country great
You stand for truth and liberty
And things the left can’t kill
You light the patriot fires
And fortify our will
No matter how they spin it
It’s the places that we’ve been
That fuel the pride and give us strength
To fight this fight again
And even though America
Has fought for liberty before
It’s the spirit here at BJG
That will fight for it evermore
So bow your heads to heaven
And give the good Lord thanks
For it’s America’s heart and souls
That is found here in these ranks
[45]
The senator from the south named Landrieu
Her talents as a lawmaker just so so.
But when the vote needs a push
Mary sells a bit of her tush
And walks with her big bag of dough.
[46]
It’s raining here and freezing cold
This global cooling is getting old
Or was it warming, I don’t know
Temperature has got to go!
[47]
TLS! You rock! Thank you!!!
[48]
TLS 44
Well done!
Well done!!
[49]
Sorry I can’t participate tonight
But what I read here is quite a delight
You all are so witty and fun
But my dinners on and I gotta run
Cheers….
[50]
TLS…that was awesome…thank you!
ya do meet the nicest and smartest folks here!
[51]
I too am so sick of this snow
Is there any other place I can go
Perhaps to Opryland
To a tea party so grand
Warmed by a Sarah Palin glow.
[52]
Gore told us the globe was warming
But winter keeps on storming
While the snow keeps piling high
The Greenies continue the lie
That made fat Al rich
While the rest of us bitch
Two more feet to shovel away
Where is Al hiding today?
[53]
TLS~~
[54]
The ceiling has been raised AGAIN so we can have more debt
And we all need to cutback while the first family jetsets
Reid and Pelosi are still pushing for healthcare
And cap and trade and every liberal nightmare
The backroom deals are flowing faster than champagne
And the democrats are retiring to avoid a real campaign
We hope the Republicans can sweep the seats in 2010
While we pray when we elect them, we don’t get screwed again
The economy’s in the toilet but funemployment is a joy
The BLS thinks data is just a Presidential toy
While the Democratic party snaps to Nancy’s every Whim
Only ten more months ‘til we all say “FIRETRUCK THE DEMS”
[55]
I am deleting this one to add to it- hang on
[56]
Thanks guys
[57]
OBAMMER THE MANCHURIAN DESPOT,
IS OUR VERSION OF POL POT,
THE BRAVE NEW WORLD HE DESIRES,
CAN ONLY BE IF THE OLD ONE EXPIRES,
BUT THERE IS ONE LITTLE THING HE FORGOT.
THE SLEEPING GIANT HAS AWAKENED,
WITH HIS THIRST FOR FREEDOM UNSLAKENED,
THROUGH HIS MYOPIA HE CAN NOW SEE,
WHAT IS IN STORE FOR SUCH AS HE,
NOW AWARE THAT HE’S BEEN FORSAKEN.
SLOW TO ANGER IS THE GREAT UNWASHED,
BUT ONCE RILED UP HE WON’T BE SQUASHED,
THE TWO BIT PRETENDER, THE FRAUD OF D.C.
IS IN FOR A COMEUPPANCE,FROM THEE AND ME,
WAITING FOR NOV. AND THE COMING MÊLÉE.
[58]
There once was a man named Zero
The liberals called him a hero
The media claimed him so smart
And crowds all faint at heart
They thought he would lead
Experience was no need
Just to hear him speak
Would make our enemies weak
So they elevated him to the top
But his ratings soon did drop
As the People began to wake
And see the enormity of this mistake
“I’m not an ideologue”, Zero claimed
And the Republicans he blamed
However, the People were onto his tricks
Although he thought them dumb hicks
With lightened hearts we watched chaos ensue
As the candidates all wrapped in blue
Quickly began to blame each other
As they sought electoral cover
From the ZERO they did flee
proclaiming “Socialism, oh no, not me!”
But come November they will ache
And our Country back we’ll take
[59]
bravo, judy!!
[60]
No snow out here dear mulletover
You are welcome to come on over
Come for the sunshine
Stay for the taxes!
Where half the state works
And the other relaxes
Visit a theme park
Wait for a quake
Watch as some happy cows
Turn into steak!
Go to the beach
Or just go to the mall
Or pretend you’re on welfare
And do nothing at all
Whatever you choose
Come on down and have fun
Get out of the snow
And pay more for the sun!
[61]
“Where’s BUSH?” the ‘fair’ Media cried.
If in more than three months he failed to provide
A Press Conference so they,
Could his flesh smartly flay,
Would that the standard to Obama applied.
In the last seven months this BS’er,
Hasn’t graced them with one single Presser
But these frauds haven’t clamored
Since with him they’re enamored
And besides, that Michele’s quite a dresser!
[62]
I’ve worked hard to ensure no one has ANY expectations of my poetry not sucking!
Low expectations…that’s the key! (just ask Barry)
[63]
JM, that last entry rocked!! I especially liked:
Come for the sunshine
Stay for the taxes!
Where half the state works
And the other relaxes
but you should send the whole poem to Ahnold!! Truly.
[64]
(to Happy Birthday)
Happy Anniversary to me
And all the posters at BJG
We are racist, bitter clingers
And extremist, right-wingers
Which we’re happy to be!!
[65]
excellent, TLS…we can sing that again after our first year in Hut 1369 (at the Detroit Re-Education Center…DREC for short!)
[66]
#60 Great one JM.
California, here I come. Ya’ll got tidal pools there?
[67]
TLS- it’s your birthday??
[68]
JR – DREC. lol!!
Of coarse we are on the West coast, so we could end up at a camp in Winnamucca, NV – WREC
and of coarse, we are all FAR right, so we may need the extensive “Total Obama Mandate” program – WRECTOM
[69]
#67, No JM, just stealing Happy B-day for Happy Anniversary. My birthday is in Oct, along with the great BJG
[70]
WRECTOM…waaaaay LOL!
Although we’ll quickly get tired of the Kamp logo…at least we’ll all be together!
[71]
Being a worthless fat drunk was really a shame,
And I’m still kinda sorry about what’s-her-name?
But I’m sorriest for dyin’
‘cause now I am fryin’
And no one down here cares that Kennedy’s my name!
[72]
Wrectom?? damned near ruined em.
[73]
#69 Ah. Here is a belated Happy Birthday to you then!
[74]
Thanks JM. It was the big 4-0.
[75]
I guess RWY and CT, and a few others aren’t gonna grace us tonight…but a fine crowd showed up and showed their stuff!
Even Teddy’s Ghost showed up…though just to whine!
I’ll start an After-Glow thread…but the rhyming can continue apace right here!
[76]
I am the Queen and I make my own rules
You will never be rid of me, you ridiculous fools!
I control all you do, all you say, all you think
I also control hell- Hey there Ted, want a drink?
Two breaths shy of the White House
And if that really scares you
Then just vote me out!
Oh yeah do it……I dare you
[77]
your Highness…that was AWESOME!! And to think we mocked you!!
We are soooooooooo unworthy!
[78]
Since there has been no winner yet declared, I hereby announce that I am the winner of tonight’s poetry contest. And my prize shall be- ALL of your money! Now hand it over.
2nd place goes to TLS whose poems were almost as good as mine. She should receive a pittance from the staff at this site, but since all their money are belong to me, she will have to settle for a peasants prize. Would you like me to declare what her prize should be? Not that I care what you think.
[79]
I started to write a poem to my darling daughter…the splendid JM.
But I just couldn’t find the right rhymes for “Godsend”. So I’ll leave it at that!
[80]
Queen Pelosi…perhaps you could send her one of your bathtowels (used of course), or even a discarded kleenex, since that too would bear your augestness!!
[81]
With my apologies to however wrote/sang “Baby, Come Back”:
Spending all my nights
All my money going to pay taxes
Doing anything just to get Obama out of office
But when the morning comes
I’m right back where I started again
Trying to forget that people love this novice
Rightwing come back, just forget about the drama
There was truth in every post you put through
Rightwing come back, you can blame it all on Obama
He is wrong, and we just can’t rhyme without you
All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado
Trying to keep up the smile that hides a tear
But as the sun goes down
I get that empty feeling again
How I wish to God that Nov 2010 were here
Rightwing come back, any kind of fool could see the drama
There’s a democrat in every immigrant we let through
Rightwing come back, you can blame it all on Obama
He is wrong, and we just can’t rhyme without you
Now that I put it all together
Give me the chance to make you see
Have you used up all the love in your heart
Nothing left for BJG?
Ain’t there nothing left for BJG?
Rightwing come back, any kind of fool could see the trauma
Of speaking truth the way we found in you
Rightwing come back, listen, you can blame it all on Obama
He is wrong, and we just can’t rhyme without you
[82]
Well I was hoping to attract the attention of Queen Pelosi, but not for poetry
[83]
I will have a servant (taxpayer funded, of course) seek out a proper gift for TLS. All I can see from where I am sitting are some used Botox vials, and a squirrel carcass, but I am keeping those for Harry Reid (don’t ask).
[84]
TLS…great take on the song…maybe THAT will get our beloved RWY back!
[85]
thank you for gracing us, my Queen…and for answering the long disputed question about whether you consumed your prey bones and all!
[86]
I wish I could play this game,
but in poetry my ability is lame
It’s not that I shan’t
It is that I can’t
I simply cannot make it rhyme
and make since at any time
[87]
Where is RWY anyway?
[88]
Hopefully, he’s at least reading, or I just massacred that song for nothing
[89]
I cannot hear that song anymore without picturing a mop.