Pithy Poetry Night

2010 April 24
by JustMary

Welcome once again to Pithy Poetry Night here at BJG! Tonight’s theme is “the undermining of the new social order and third world status of America by right wing tea bagging racist haters who are bitterly clinging to their guns and Bibles.” (courtesy of mullet!), although if you don’t stick to the theme, no imaginary points will be deducted from your imaginary score. Will there be a prize tonight? Yes! Tonight’s winner will receive a copy of the book “One Second After”. There will also be special consideration given to anyone who can successfully rhyme the word “vituperative”. They will receive a pocket Constitution and Declaration of Independence.

As always…feel free to re-cycle stuff you’ve written here or elsewhere as well as fresh snarkiness based on all the splendiferousness of life under Barry’s gentle boot. Enjoy! (oh…and please don’t use words that rhyme with “Duck!”…or at least not ONE word that does). 😀

Please bow your heads for the benediction……

128 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 April 24 3:01 pm
    [1]
    MFG permalink

    My children

    Bow your heads, embrace an illegal alien, desecrate an American flag and repeat after me:

    Our Obama
    Who art in Washington
    Hallowed be thy name
    Thy corruption come
    Thy fraud be done
    In Washington as it is in Illinois
    Give us this day our welfare check
    And forgive us our Christianity
    As we forgive those who have decency or ethics
    And lead us not into integrity
    But deliver us from honesty, amen

  2. 2010 April 24 3:01 pm
    [2]
    JustMary permalink

    Amen.

  3. 2010 April 24 3:02 pm
    [3]
    JustMary permalink

    My country tis of thee
    Once knowing Liberty
    Now under siege

    Christians called terrorists
    While Muslims shake their fists
    Over cartoons and skits
    I’m in disbelief

  4. 2010 April 24 3:03 pm
    [4]

    ~~~ODE TO THE OMNIPOTENT~~~

    There once was a potus suppurative,
    Who thought of himself as quite superlative,
    But he could only be described as vituperative,
    For when obammer is done screwing the pooch,
    And we have long since run out of hooch,
    The republic will be in need of a long recuperative,
    Coupled with a large dose of purgative.

  5. 2010 April 24 3:03 pm
    [5]
    justrand permalink

    your best benediction ever, your Eminence!

  6. 2010 April 24 3:04 pm
    [6]
    JustMary permalink

    Who a superlative quality doth posess
    That can rhyme vituperative with great finesse?
    My money it be
    On the skills of IP

  7. 2010 April 24 3:04 pm
    [7]
    MFG permalink

    John McCain you dirty whore
    You rotten ***** you awful bore
    Once I’d defend you to one and all
    But now you’re just a chain and ball
    Now that I hear the campaign you bring
    I know that to get re-elected
    You’d say ANYTHING

  8. 2010 April 24 3:05 pm
    [8]
    justrand permalink

    sigh…IP has set the bar on “vituperative” pretty darn high! ok, here goes my (VERY!) humble entry:

    For eight years with language vituperative,
    Insults of all kinds to Bush they did give.
    But don’t dare talk about Barry,
    For criticism there can be nary,
    As that’s something they’ll never forgive!

  9. 2010 April 24 3:06 pm
    [9]
    JustMary permalink

    Nobody riots
    And Christians keep quiet
    When Jesus is drawn smoking or gay

    But show the slightest trace
    Of Mohammed’s face
    And muslims threaten to blow you away

    Hold a Tea Party sign
    And you’re quickly aligned
    To the likes of Timothy McVeigh

    But rapes and beheadings
    And brutal bloodshedding
    Beget cries of “they’re different, and that’s ok”

  10. 2010 April 24 3:07 pm
    [10]
    MFG permalink

    Come one come all
    Who gives a shit?
    ANYONE can cross the border now
    Do you sell dope or murder kids?
    Are you a gangster, do you rob banks?
    Our borders are like a hole filled sieve
    It’s made us all quite vituperative

  11. 2010 April 24 3:08 pm
    [11]
    MFG permalink

    #5

    May the blessings of St Stupak be upon you my son

  12. 2010 April 24 3:10 pm
    [12]

    Obammer the master~debater was his name,
    Oratorical fellatio was his game,
    as a master of the spiel,
    He was a cunning~linguist nonpareil,
    And none could hold a candle to his fame.

  13. 2010 April 24 3:12 pm
    [13]
    MFG permalink

    Ode to John McCain:

    **** ***
    **** ***
    Retire now while you still have a shred of dignity left
    **** ***
    **** ***
    Have you no shame?

  14. 2010 April 24 3:13 pm
    [14]
    JustMary permalink

    Open house America
    Gates open wide
    Free to murder our ranchers
    Then run off and hide
    States! Take a hint from AZ
    And from your state they will flee
    If in your country you have any pride

  15. 2010 April 24 3:13 pm
    [15]
    justrand permalink

    In every country on Earth, except here,
    To the rules all visitors must adhere.
    But not in this land,
    For we won’t take a stand,
    Thus scofflaws have nothing to fear!

  16. 2010 April 24 3:16 pm
    [16]
    MFG permalink

    Who’d a thought that AZ would do it?
    I know I didn’t, I thought they’d screw it
    The home of amnesty loving John McCain
    Is the first of our states to show their brain

  17. 2010 April 24 3:18 pm
    [17]
    MFG permalink

    McCain Haiku:

    I’ll say anything
    I am a prostitute now
    All principles gone

  18. 2010 April 24 3:18 pm
    [18]
    justrand permalink

    Ode to Arizona:

    In Arizona they’ll enforce the law,
    A fact which sticks in the Liberal craw.
    For by defending our border,
    We just might restore order!
    Thus to Governor Brewer we say: “Hurrah!

  19. 2010 April 24 3:19 pm
    [19]
    TLS permalink

    Shout out to Arizona, who’s leading the charge
    Hoisting their sword against the federal barge
    Confirming by vote that the law is the law
    Poking the lords and rubbing them raw
    Proving wrong is not right, no matter how large

  20. 2010 April 24 3:19 pm
    [20]
    TLS permalink

    #13 rofl!

  21. 2010 April 24 3:20 pm
    [21]
    MFG permalink

    McCain Haiku:

    When’s the primary
    Then yes I can stop whoring
    Integrity what?

  22. 2010 April 24 3:22 pm
    [22]
    TLS permalink

    Mullet’s in the foxhole with dickwad and some spirits
    Retlaw’s got his hand up, hoping we can hear it
    Justrand is drinking earlier, to sharpen up his prose
    And if we have our game on, it’ll be coming out his nose
    MFG’s got the benediction to help us all to see
    And we’re all passing “vituperative” rhyming to IP!

  23. 2010 April 24 3:24 pm
    [23]
    JustMary permalink

    Dear John McCain
    You self righteous pain
    You’re lucky Sarah still supports you
    We still hold our noses
    One handed type proses
    About how much we really abhor you!

  24. 2010 April 24 3:26 pm
    [24]
    JustMary permalink

    #22 LOL

  25. 2010 April 24 3:28 pm
    [25]
    MFG permalink

    #22

    Post of the night so far!!

  26. 2010 April 24 3:29 pm
    [26]
    MFG permalink

    More rhyming of “vituperative”, please!

  27. 2010 April 24 3:32 pm
    [27]
    JustMary permalink

    I loves me some wine
    For it helps me to rhyme
    But when it runs out, there’s much fear
    My rhymes start to stink
    Then I start to think
    What I wouldn’t give for a beer!
    No beer to be had?
    Well that’s really too bad
    Obama sucks

    *I struggled a bit with that last line…..but I think it works…..

  28. 2010 April 24 3:41 pm
    [28]
    TLS permalink

    Goldman Sachs gambled cash
    On risky lots of mortgage trash
    When they say what they had done
    They borrowed our money from “The Won”

    Now that things are “turning round”
    Goldman wants to keep their crown
    But owing to the devil sucks
    ‘Cause you’re going down and he’s keeping your bucks!!

  29. 2010 April 24 3:42 pm
    [29]
    mulletover permalink

    We are all right wing tea bagging racists
    and we scorn and and decry the deplorable statists
    but our lives become richly blessed
    when we invade their scurrilous nests
    and our traps are deliciously bait’ests.

    With their heads on a pike, we will cheer
    our liberty that we hold so dear
    the children throw off chains
    let the founders’ freedom ring
    November is drawing so near.

  30. 2010 April 24 3:43 pm
    [30]
    TLS permalink

    I like #9.

  31. 2010 April 24 3:47 pm
    [31]
    JustMary permalink

    SEC watches porn
    Here comes Bawny Fwank’s scorn
    For what else but the GOP
    Lack of financial regulation
    Causes spontaneous capitulation
    When it comes to things one should not see?

  32. 2010 April 24 3:47 pm
    [32]
    mulletover permalink

    From a foxhole filled with rhyme
    ol’ dickwad is having a good time
    but the prose will improve
    and he will hit his top groove
    when JR stops by with the wine.

  33. 2010 April 24 3:54 pm
    [33]

    Prancing with wolves was lucy graham,
    With jerimiah’s johnson in his hand,
    Up camelback mountain they did ride,
    These Rump riders of the purple divide,
    Isn’t he such a precious little lamb.

    Do cap & tax now he did demand,
    As he stomped his little foot in the sand,
    Do as I say, or with my purse I will flay,
    Without me you’ll never carry the day,
    For I am the primary rino of this one man band.

  34. 2010 April 24 3:59 pm
    [34]
    justrand permalink

    great stuff! Had to take the dog for a walk…and haven’t had a drop…yet! 🙂 Here’s another lame entry from Moi:

    A Tea Party go’er I very am proud to be!
    For now, at least, we’re still the land of the Free!
    But our voice, we must use it,
    Or we certainly will lose it,
    And be shackled with chains most heavy.

    [ok, ya gotta kinda pronounce “heavy” as “hev-vee”]

  35. 2010 April 24 4:05 pm
    [35]

    LIKE THE FETID STENCH FROM A ROTTING CORPSE,
    IMMIGRATION REFORM COMES SLITHERING FORTH,
    ONCE THOUGHT DEAD, LIKE FREDDIE KRUEGER,
    BUT BACK IT CRAWLS LIKE A WOUNDED COUGAR,
    POUND A STAKE THROUGH IT’S HEART,WITH MAXIMUM FORCE.

  36. 2010 April 24 4:07 pm
    [36]
    justrand permalink

    Al Sharpton spouts hatred all the day long,
    And about the Earth’s Climate, Al Gore’s nothing but wrong.
    Yet the Democrat masses,
    With their heads up their asses,
    Sing the praises of those morons all the day and night long!

  37. 2010 April 24 4:08 pm
    [37]
    TLS permalink

    We don’t pay our taxes
    and we don’t have real degrees
    We don’t watch our carbon footprint
    And we do as we damn well please

    We don’t prosecute our friends
    (Honor among thieves)
    But we prosecute our buddies
    After their usefulness leaves

    We don’t support our allies
    We make dictators our friends
    We say whatever works
    ‘Cause it’s all a means to an end

    We lie to get elected
    But then after the vote
    We go back to our all ways
    Where we chastise you and gloat

    We do what we think is best
    And even work against you
    So stay in line, put down your signs
    And do as I say, not as I do

  38. 2010 April 24 4:13 pm
    [38]

    Where are the pithers of poetry night,
    It seems they may have taken aflight,
    We need more input so sublime,
    To fill our coffers of limerick rhyme,
    Come forth ye bards, it’s BJG time.

  39. 2010 April 24 4:13 pm
    [39]
    justrand permalink

    splendid, TLS!!

  40. 2010 April 24 4:14 pm
    [40]
    justrand permalink

    Blago has reminded Barry he plays by Chicago Rulz.
    That the laws and the statutes are for ordinary fools.
    Having Obama on the stand,
    Is Blago’s only winning hand,
    And it shows he’s got a grip on Barry O’s jewels!

  41. 2010 April 24 4:22 pm
    [41]

    Obammer the flim flammer doing his thang,
    Upchuck schumer the usual harangue,
    Dingy dirty harry, the prancing little fairy,
    Nasty piglosi with her chest so hairy,
    God save us all from these orangutans.

  42. 2010 April 24 4:25 pm
    [42]
    TLS permalink

    Oh Say can you see, the Red dawn’s early light
    What we once so proudly hailed, the left is now demeaning
    Whose broad shoulders and bright hope were brought to perilous fights,
    Under the ramparts we watch her so sadly careening?
    And the socialists’ red glare is filling the air
    Giving proof over night that our choices are clear.
    And our star spangled banner will only still wave
    In the home of the free, because of the brave.

  43. 2010 April 24 4:27 pm
    [43]
    justrand permalink

    On the 20th of May, it’s draw Mohammed day!
    Though for drawing and painting, I’ve little cachet.
    But it’s all just for fun,
    And when the day is done,
    I’m sure the Jihadis will have viewed it that way. [not]

  44. 2010 April 24 4:31 pm
    [44]
    justrand permalink

    TLS and IP are tearing the place up! With mullet, MFG and JM holding their own. I’m batting, uh, clean-up! 🙂

    Still, as IP lamented, I was hoping some of the other BJG terrorists would show up! the early start, and change of day may have thrown them for loop! *sigh* I thought they were of smarter stuff! 👿

  45. 2010 April 24 4:47 pm
    [45]
    JustMary permalink

    I got booted from the computer cause the boys wanted to check out crossbows. Lol

  46. 2010 April 24 4:51 pm
    [46]
    TLS permalink

    This doesn’t rhymes but…..

    There was a messiah who wasn’t
    The Stimulus that didn’t
    Then a Bailout that we shouldn’t
    And some takeovers we thought they couldn’t

    These provoked angry rallies that they aren’t
    From Terrorists who they weren’t
    Against HC we didn’t want
    That passed with votes they didn’t have

    Then came the jobs bill that didn’t work
    Spending money we don’t have
    To speed up the recovery that isn’t happening
    And curb unexpected unemployment that isn’t rising

    Next we get amnesty that isn’t
    To legalize aliens who aren’t
    And a climate bill for change that wasn’t
    And no one believed him when he said “YES WE CAN!”

  47. 2010 April 24 4:52 pm
    [47]
    JustMary permalink

    I hear the birds chirping
    as my beer I sit slurping
    waiting my turn for the mac
    but no luck I do moan
    as I type on my phone
    wish they’d give the dern thing back!

  48. 2010 April 24 4:55 pm
    [48]
    justrand permalink

    The sun did not shine.
    But we liked it that way.
    In Hut 1369
    It was just another day.

    I sat there with Yahoo.
    We sat there, we two.
    And I said, “I love Obama
    I’m sure you do too!”

    Too happy being re-educated
    And who needs to play ball?
    So we sat in our Hut.
    As we heeded the call!

    So all we could do was to
    Sit!
    Sit!
    Sit!
    Sit!
    But of course we LOVED it.
    We loved every little bit!

    BUMP!
    And then
    something went BUMP!

    How that bump made us jump!
    We looked!
    Then we saw him step in on the mat!
    We looked!
    And we saw him!
    The alGore Oh So Fat!!
    And he said to us,
    “Why do you sit there like that?”
    “I know it is freezing
    And the sun is not sunny.
    But the suckers bought my shtick,
    And I made lots of money!”

    [I ran out of steam at this point! 🙂 ]

  49. 2010 April 24 4:56 pm
    [49]
    TLS permalink

    I’m rhyming sans alcohol, so not the best, but IP certainly rose to the challenge!!

    JM – I get kicked off by the yr old for strawberry shortcake 🙂

  50. 2010 April 24 4:57 pm
    [50]
    JustMary permalink

    That is great, Dad!

  51. 2010 April 24 4:58 pm
    [51]
    justrand permalink

    it’s wine time! 🙂

  52. 2010 April 24 4:58 pm
    [52]
    TLS permalink

    yr old = 4 yr old (numlock was off)

  53. 2010 April 24 4:59 pm
    [53]
    JustMary permalink

    Al gore told us lies
    fat and happy he sits there
    counting his plunder

  54. 2010 April 24 5:01 pm
    [54]
    TLS permalink

    # 48 bravo, JR!

  55. 2010 April 24 5:12 pm
    [55]
    TLS permalink

    This little elephant went to strip joints
    This little donkey harassed staffers at home
    This little Rino backs amnesty
    This November election will be fun
    As all the voters go wee, wee, wee all the way to the poles!!!

  56. 2010 April 24 5:19 pm
    [56]
    justrand permalink

    TLS…I’m sure Michael Steele would just LOVE a copy of your last poem! 🙂

  57. 2010 April 24 5:28 pm
    [57]

    INTO THE DEN OF THE BEAST SLOUCHED THE WUSSY PIPPED CASTRATI,
    HAT IN HAND WERE THESE PRANCING ILLUMINATI,
    OH SPARE US DEAR NANCY,OF YOUR BOTOX WRATH,
    WE KNOW WE’RE IN STORE FOR A POLITICAL BLOODBATH,
    WE HAVE NOTHING LEFT FOR YOUR PENDING ORCHIETOMY.

  58. 2010 April 24 5:30 pm
    [58]
    TLS permalink

    I rhyme much better when I’ve been drinking
    Since then I can laugh that America’s sinking
    But when I don’t pour
    It’s hard to ignore
    It’s our demise that Obama is inking

  59. 2010 April 24 5:32 pm
    [59]

    IT’S BEEN OUR HOLY GRAIL FROM THE BEGINNING,
    IMMIGRATION REFORM IS IN THE FINAL INNING,
    YOU CAN’T STOP US NOW, NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY,
    WE’VE WAITED TOO LONG TO LET THIS THING PASS BY,
    WE’RE IN THE HOME STRETCH, AND WE ARE WINNING.

    PISS AND MOAN WITH ALL OF YOUR MIGHT,
    WE’LL DO WHAT WE WANT JUST OUT OF SPITE,
    YOUR BALLS ARE ON THE ANVIL,WE HAVE THE HAMMER,
    THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO,WE HAVE OBAMMER,
    YOUR PARTY IS OVER,TURN OUT THE LIGHT.

    DO WHAT YOU WILL COME ELECTION DAY,
    WE DON’T GIVE A CRAP WHAT YOU PEOPLE SAY,
    WE’RE GOING TO CRAM IT THROUGH IN SPITE OF YOU,
    AND YOU’LL NEVER UNDO THIS WITCHES BREW,
    WE’LL PASS THIS ABORTION COME WHAT MAY.

  60. 2010 April 24 5:36 pm
    [60]
    justrand permalink

    IP, your last poem was awesome…but requires me to have another drink!

  61. 2010 April 24 5:36 pm
    [61]

    A hickey on the hemorrhoid of journalism,
    Is this spewer of effluvial paternalism,
    What would look good on Olberman?
    Perhaps two black and brown doberman,
    He wins the award for terminal onanism.

  62. 2010 April 24 5:37 pm
    [62]
    JustMary permalink

    #37 and #59 Yep….

  63. 2010 April 24 5:40 pm
    [63]

    new guinea strafers (click button)

  64. 2010 April 24 5:41 pm
    [64]
    TLS permalink

    Perhaps two black and brown doberman,

    LOL!!!

  65. 2010 April 24 5:42 pm
    [65]
    TLS permalink

    Lady liberty used to invite
    Those fleeing here for human rights
    And now we seek to bring in mass
    Our fellow nations’ welfare class
    To hoard away Liberty’s light

  66. 2010 April 24 5:45 pm
    [66]
    drdog09 permalink

    Barry had us little lambs,
    who he fleeced from head to toe.
    And everywhere that Barry went,
    the taxes was sure to go.

    But us little lambs fleeced we are,
    were calm as the driven snow.
    For we know come a crisp Nov morn,
    Barry will soon be to go.

  67. 2010 April 24 5:47 pm
    [67]
    justrand permalink

    another gecko has entered the lists! 🙂

  68. 2010 April 24 5:48 pm
    [68]
    justrand permalink

    JM…I agree! but let’s give the late arrivals a shot! 🙂

  69. 2010 April 24 5:53 pm
    [69]
    drdog09 permalink

    Hey diddle diddle, Barney plays the the fiddle,
    And the SEC jumped the shark.
    The little Biden laughed to see such fun
    And Barry ran away with the cash!

  70. 2010 April 24 5:56 pm
    [70]
    justrand permalink

    drdog…I prescribe more “adult beverages”!

  71. 2010 April 24 5:56 pm
    [71]
    drdog09 permalink

    Need some wine for inspiration. But that about does it for me.

    Be a tough call tonite for valedictorian. IP and TLS seemed to be hitting the hoop pretty hard from the 3pt line.

  72. 2010 April 24 5:59 pm
    [72]

    CRAP AND TRADE, ANOTHER CHARADE,
    WELCOME TO THIS MARXIST PARADE,
    THEIR SUBTERFUGE PLANS HAVE BEEN EXPOSED,
    THESE COMMIES IN SHEEPSKIN WILL BE DEPOSED,
    WE WILL LINE THEM UP AND GIVE THEM THE BLADE.

  73. 2010 April 24 6:05 pm
    [73]

    THERE ONCE WAS A CANINE PHYSICIAN,
    SNIFFING OUT MOONBATS WAS HIS MISSION,
    HE COULD MAKE A BASKERVILLE HOUND QUIVER,
    OF THE LIBERALS HE WOULD MAKE CHOPPED LIVER,
    DARE NOT DISSUADE HIM OF THIS MISSION.

    DR.DOG WAS HIS SOBRIQUET,
    BETWEEN HIM AND A BEER, DON’T GET IN THE WAY,
    HIS ALPO IS FINE,
    BITS AND KIBBLES ARE DIVINE,
    BUT SAMUEL ADAMS MAKES HIS CANINE DAY.

  74. 2010 April 24 6:07 pm
    [74]
    drdog09 permalink

    If you drive a car, I’ll tax the street

    If you try to sit, I’ll tax your seat

    If you get too cold, I’ll tax the heat

    If you take a walk, I’ll tax your feet.

  75. 2010 April 24 6:10 pm
    [75]
    justrand permalink

    drdog, they are draining “3s” on us…but you remain our favorite lizard! 🙂

  76. 2010 April 24 6:12 pm
    [76]

    Lucky lager at two bits a pop,
    We never knew when to stop,
    When the slop chute closed,
    They thought we were hosed,
    But we could always find another drop.

  77. 2010 April 24 6:14 pm
    [77]
    drdog09 permalink

    The taxman’s taken’ all my dough
    And left me in this stately home
    Lazin’ on a sunny afternoon

    And I can’t even sail my yacht
    He’s taken’ everything I’ve got
    All I’ve got’s this sunny afternoon
    In the summertime…

    – Jimmy Buffet

  78. 2010 April 24 6:18 pm
    [78]
    TLS permalink

    Oh, I wish there were Dino’s
    How awesome that’d be
    To having them selling out their party
    Instead of you and me

    Oh, I’d love to have Dino’s
    Who promised their voters
    But then switched to our side
    When the election was over

    Oh, if only there were Dino’s
    That sold out the Dems
    And followed our platform
    And our every whim

    Oh, but instead we get Rino’s
    Those left leaning wards
    And the Liberals get Democrats
    Who fall on their sword!

  79. 2010 April 24 6:19 pm
    [79]

    HISTORY IS REPLETE WITH THE STUPIDITY OF THE MASSES,
    SOMETIMES THE SHEEPLE LOOK LIKE HORSES ASSES,
    HOPE AND CHANGE THEY WERE VOTING FOR,
    THEY SWALLOWED THE LINE OF A FLIM FLAMMING WHORE,
    THEY AWOKE FROM THEIR STUPOR SMELLING HIS FLATULENT GASSES.

    ONCE AROUSED FROM THIS SOMNAMBULANT STATE,
    THEY ARE LOOKING CLOSER AT THIS FORKED TONGUED PRIMATE,
    EMBARRASSED AND CHAGRINED AT THEIR OWN CUPIDITY,
    THEY ARE NOW ASHAMED OF THEIR OWN STUPIDITY
    FROM THIS GOAT ROPE THEMSELVES THEY WILL EXTRICATE.

    CHOMPING AT THE BIT, TO BE RID OF THIS DIPSHIT,
    THEY PLAN ON EXORCISING THIS POTUS MISFIT,
    THE GREAT UNWASHED WILL CHERISH THE DAY,
    THREE YEARS AWAY FROM THE COMING FRAY,
    WHEN THEY CORRECT THE MISTAKE THEY NOW ADMIT.

    IN THE INTERIM THEY CAN DISPLAY,
    THE EXTENT OF THEIR DISMAY,
    BY DEFROCKING NASTY NANCY,AND DE BALLING DIRTY HARRY,
    THEY WILL SEND A MESSAGE TO THE POLITICALLY UNWARY,
    THE SLEEPING TIGER HAS AWAKENED, AND THEY ARE THE PREY.

  80. 2010 April 24 6:29 pm
    [80]
    retlaw permalink

    Apologies to John Prine and his song about “Muhlenberg County, where Paradise lay”]

    When I was a child my family would marvel
    At the wonderful nation our forefathers built.
    Now it’s being dismantled by misguided Marxists
    Who play on false fears and misplaced guilt.

    And Tea Parties help me take back my great country
    From the socialist Marxists of Obama fame.
    Rally round all my sons, before its it’s too late I’m asking
    Don’t let ’em snuff out America’s great freedom flame.

    Well oft times we traveled throughout our great nation,
    Enjoying our freedoms and our futures were bright,
    But now Obama it seems the Constitution he tramples,
    He tries to claim what’s dead wrong is actually right.

    And Americans help me take back my wonderful country
    Where hard work was rewarded and the Constitution’s in play
    Where Godly values and personal rights are respected
    Can’t let Obama and the moonbats just steal it away.

    Then Obama he came with the worlds largest bailout,
    With entitlements, fees, taxes–and deficits galore,
    Well he seized auto makers and banking and health care,
    Destroyed America’s coal mines at the altar of AlGore.

    And patriots please join me to take back our country,
    Let common sense individual responsibility abound,
    Restore ideals and values our ancestors held dear,
    Where the “gubment” serves the people–not the other way ’round,

    Obama’s agenda includes a VAT and a cap-n-trade tax,
    Amnesty for illegals, control all schools as well,
    Look at his bad foreign plans and domestic policies,
    He’s transforming our paradise to a socialist hell.

    And everyone please help me take back our great country,
    Let’s end secret deals, kick out Obama Czars,
    Vote the socialist Democrats and Rinos out of Congress,
    Send the illegals home and the Marxists to Mars.

  81. 2010 April 24 6:31 pm
    [81]

    Kudos to walter, he did not falter.

  82. 2010 April 24 6:32 pm
    [82]
    TLS permalink

    Nice Retlaw!

  83. 2010 April 24 6:37 pm
    [83]
    MFG permalink

    Sing!

    To our soon to be new country!

    (Sung to “O Canada”):

    O Oklatex!
    My home and native land!
    True patriot love in all thy sons command.

    With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
    The Deep South strong and free!

    From far and wide,
    O Oklatex, we stand on guard for thee

    God make our land glorious and free!
    O Oklatex, we stand on guard for thee

    O Oklatex, we stand on guard for thee!

  84. 2010 April 24 6:43 pm
    [84]
    JustMary permalink

    These are great!!!

  85. 2010 April 24 6:52 pm
    [85]
    retlaw permalink

    [To the tune of “Grandma Got Run Over By Some Reindeer”]

    America got run over by some Marxists,
    It started on Inauguration Day,
    The fact is Obama’s a real radical,
    Despite what all the liberal media say.

    Zero promised hope and much change,
    Lulled the voters all asleep,
    Yikes! The Marxists run amok now,
    For our country now all we do is weep.

    Folks were drinking too much O’Koolaid,
    And we begged them not to vote,
    For a lying social Marxist,
    But they did and now it really gets my goat.

    America got run over by some Marxists,
    It started on inauguration day,
    The fact is Obama’s a real radical,
    Despite what all the liberal media say.

    Grandpa formed a big Tea Party,
    One of many in our land,
    Asked Sarah Palin to come and speak here,
    And she wrote Grandpa’s phone number on her hand.

    Just bend over all you good folks,
    For the nasty shaft you now receive,
    As for traditional American values,
    In not a one does that Obama believe.

    America got run over by some Marxists,
    It started on inauguration day,
    The fact is Obama’s a real radical,
    Despite what all the liberal media say.

    We’re so proud of the Tea Party,
    They’re not taking Marxism well,
    They refuse to let Obama,
    Drive the Marxist train that takes us all to hell.

  86. 2010 April 24 6:56 pm
    [86]
    MFG permalink

    #85

    Lolololololololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  87. 2010 April 24 6:57 pm
    [87]
    TLS permalink

    Heh, that’s good Walter! I parodied that tune last Christmas. Let me see if I saved it and I’ll throw up my version.

  88. 2010 April 24 6:58 pm
    [88]
    TLS permalink

    found it.

    America got run over by a radical
    ‘cause in hope and change idiots did believe
    You can say Obama is the savior
    But as for me, I think that they’re all thieves

    America’s been drinking too much kool aid
    And I begged some not to vote
    But they laughed at their obligation
    And staggered to the poles to hang the rope

    When they woke up one year later
    Well, the country was a wreck
    Lady Liberty had “weak” stuck on her forehead
    And incriminating Acorn marks on her back

    Now we’re all so screwed it’s scary
    But we’re taking it so well
    Since he’s shaking hands with dictators
    Snubbing allies and playing nice with scum from hell

    It’s not America without Patriots
    But the conservatives don’t fight back
    And we just can’t help but wonder
    Should we keep the GOP or send them back?
    (Send them back!)

    Now America’s sovereignty’s on the table
    And the future of our land
    And the land of opportunity
    Now means equal amounts in every hand.

    I’ve told all my friends and neighbors
    I lay the blame where it should go
    They should never elect as President
    A man who hangs with libs and married a bozo

  89. 2010 April 24 7:02 pm
    [89]
    MFG permalink

    We’re not worthy
    We’re not worthy…

  90. 2010 April 24 7:05 pm
    [90]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    Old Air Force Joke. Do you know what a smart translator is?

    A cunning Linguist

    😆

  91. 2010 April 24 7:31 pm
    [91]
    retlaw permalink

    WOW!!!

    Tip of the hat to all the great poets…

    JM (especially #3, 9, and 23)
    Mary is just “rolling…rolling…rolling on the river” (or poetry)

    IP727
    is laying down a load of poetry carpet bomb…really on a tear…

    **********************************************************8

    TLS for #37…
    A give you an Internet fist bump

    ****************************************

    JustRand for #48…
    Im chuckling out loud…great visual imaging of the scene you paint in your poem…

    **********************************8

    drdog (especially #66 and 74)
    I give you a “bow wow” (I bow and say “wow”…well done, well done…)

    TLS (#78)
    Your “DINOs poem is priceless
    AND YOUR #88—WHAT A HOOT!!!! (LOTS of LOL on this one of yours)
    Your “Granda” is MUCH better than my “Grandma”
    You the Alpha male on the Reindeer song, dude!

    To ALL of the esteemed and “steamed” [at Obama], and even the “stewed” BJG poets…

    YOU GUYS ROCK!!! You make my day, (and all my pychiatrists at the institution say this is such good therapy for me…and that I am showing much improvement…(heh, heh)

  92. 2010 April 24 7:43 pm
    [92]
    JustMary permalink

    It is going to be tough for me to declare a winner! I need help!

  93. 2010 April 24 7:44 pm
    [93]
    TLS permalink

    Thx Retlaw. You’re not to shabby yourself. And FYI, I’m a dudette 🙂

  94. 2010 April 24 7:45 pm
    [94]
    JustMary permalink

    and all my pychiatrists at the institution say this is such good therapy for me…and that I am showing much improvement

    😆

  95. 2010 April 24 7:45 pm
    [95]

    Let’s call it a tie. 🙂

  96. 2010 April 24 7:50 pm
    [96]
    MFG permalink

    Which means…

    Overtime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  97. 2010 April 24 7:50 pm
    [97]
    MFG permalink

    The tie MUST be broken!

    New submissions, please

  98. 2010 April 24 7:53 pm
    [98]
    TLS permalink

    I like Mullet’s 29. Both of retlaw’s were great. and I can’t pick which one of IP’s I like best, although I think he won the “vituperative” challenge hands down!

  99. 2010 April 24 7:57 pm
    [99]
    JustMary permalink

    IP won the vituperative challenge fo sho…..

    It is between TLS and retlaw now. Mullet had best use of theme though. Hmmmmm

  100. 2010 April 24 7:59 pm
    [100]
    mulletover permalink

    What a great night of poetry. One of the best, maybe the best.

    Off topic.

    Prayers for all the good folks in Mississippi and Alabama. They got hit hard tonight.

  101. 2010 April 24 8:01 pm
    [101]
    JustMary permalink

    #37 Was my pic from TLS, #85 from retlaw. Still eyeballing #29 though, because teabagging racistry brings warmth and joy to my heart.

  102. 2010 April 24 8:03 pm
    [102]
    retlaw permalink

    Rambling Random Rants

    Ship our wealth to the Arabs for oil,
    Borrow and buy from the Commie Chinese,
    Let the POTUS czar up the “gubment”,
    As The Bamster just did as he pleased.
    *************************************

    Spending boat loads of money each hour and day,
    The Marxists and insiders just haul it away,
    Goes to ACORN, GE and SEIU,
    Goes to Goldman /Sachs—Bank of America too.

    Marxists march on with their Socialist sojourn,
    Want the U.S. destroyed, to crash it and burn
    I’m fed up with this New World Order of his,
    Soon he’ll tax you and me for taking a “whiz”.

    Let’s return to the days of the U.S. pre-Obama,
    Get rid of the Czars and all of this drama,
    Bring the Bible and Constitution back from afar,
    Defending time tested freedoms from wherever we are.

    Stop treating enemies as friends and allies as foes
    Stop leading the Congress around by the nose’
    Let’s all walk in the voting booth in this year,
    And stop the Marxists from destroying all we hold dear.

  103. 2010 April 24 8:03 pm
    [103]
    JustMary permalink

    #100 indeed. 🙁 I was just reading about that.

  104. 2010 April 24 8:04 pm
    [104]
    JustMary permalink

    Let’s return to the days of the U.S. pre-Obama,
    Get rid of the Czars and all of this drama,
    Bring the Bible and Constitution back from afar,
    Defending time tested freedoms from wherever we are.

    Stop treating enemies as friends and allies as foes
    Stop leading the Congress around by the nose’
    Let’s all walk in the voting booth in this year,
    And stop the Marxists from destroying all we hold dear.

    AMEN

  105. 2010 April 24 8:09 pm
    [105]
    TLS permalink

    Well, I think retlaw just sealed the deal!

    prayers indeed, mullet.

  106. 2010 April 24 8:12 pm
    [106]
    retlaw permalink

    IP gets the “vituperative” award, IMO

  107. 2010 April 24 8:20 pm
    [107]
    retlaw permalink

    I vote for TLS for best poems tonight,
    (drdog, JM and IP fighting it out for my silver and bronze)

  108. 2010 April 24 8:28 pm
    [108]
    retlaw permalink

    Thanks to IP, JM and TLS (the talented dudETTE)for your votes of confidence in my entries.

    TLS–your poems tonight were super great!

  109. 2010 April 24 8:53 pm
    [109]
    TLS permalink

    You tax what I buy
    You tax what I sell
    And you tax my profit
    If I do well

    You tax my job
    You tax my wages
    Your taxes take up
    Thousands of pages

    And now you want
    To tax me more
    For “value added”
    In route to store

    And if I pay this tax
    As well
    You’ll tax me to
    The depth of Hell

    So I should warn
    You may regret it
    But if you want it
    Come and get it!!

  110. 2010 April 24 8:55 pm
    [110]
    TLS permalink

    My final vote:

    IP – wins the “vituperative” challenge
    Mullet – Best use of theme
    Retlaw – Best of show for #102

    Pretty good stuff this evening overall!!!

  111. 2010 April 24 9:03 pm
    [111]
    JustMary permalink

    Tonight was really really good……I swear we have the most talented group around!!!!!

    I agree with TLS, #102 sealed the deal for retlaw.

  112. 2010 April 24 9:06 pm
    [112]
    justrand permalink

    drat…we watched a movie and I missed Overtime! 🙁

    just read through ’em…splendid, my friends, just splendid! JM, as ever, is the final judge!

    cheers!

  113. 2010 April 24 9:07 pm
    [113]

    Bottle all these up over the last year and publish a book. 😉

  114. 2010 April 24 9:08 pm
    [114]

    The Obama Years – Diaries of the political poets.

  115. 2010 April 24 9:08 pm
    [115]
    justrand permalink

    KH, amen! We’ve got a ton of wonderful evidence examples! 🙂

  116. 2010 April 24 9:15 pm
    [116]
    TLS permalink

    I once did a report on Thomas Nast who was a political cartoonist that highlighted and contributed to bringing down a crime ring in NY in the late 18oo’s. It was one of the most interesting historical research projects ever, because he translated the fear, intimidation and open crime that the citizens of NY experienced in ironic drawings. I can only image what Americans could interpret from our humorous pasttime in a couple of hundred years.

  117. 2010 April 24 9:20 pm
    [117]

    Yeah that ‘s an interesting though about how they would read and be interpreted 100 years from now.

  118. 2010 April 24 9:22 pm
    [118]

    Looks like snowe is expected to sell us out on the permanent bailout bill – sorry I can’t bring myself to call it financial reform as most of the bill is just a bloated joke.

  119. 2010 April 24 9:26 pm
    [119]
    JustMary permalink

    #113 I have been looking into that these last few days. Having never done anything like this, it is kind of daunting. Anyone here with experience in this?

  120. 2010 April 24 9:27 pm
    [120]

    http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.514daf44d35823475492629aa1a1bb99.781&show_article=1
    “However experts also blame a lack of housing supply and say government hand-outs, including grants for first-time buyers, have inflated prices. ” Sound familiar? – gee you think, perhaps not limiting incoming wealth to your nation but addressing the real issue might be the correct move. ..ehh wtf do I know.

  121. 2010 April 24 9:30 pm
    [121]

    Nocturnal falcon being measured for his gulag uniform, as we speak. It isn’t nice to question dear leader.

  122. 2010 April 24 9:32 pm
    [122]
    retlaw permalink

    I think KnightHawk has stumbled upon an excellect idea. Compile and publish a book of BJG poetry. Let the proceeds help fund the costs of the BJG website. Or else the operators of the website donate whatever portion of net revenue to a worthy charity or cause.

    ******** *********** ************

    The poetry coming forth tonight was as voluminous as the CO2 and ash spilling from an Icelandic volcano…People unaware of this site do not know the pure pleasure they are a missin’…

  123. 2010 April 24 9:34 pm
    [123]
    JustMary permalink

    Yeah, Dad and I started talking books a short while back, just haven’t the slightest clue how to go about it (we are usually on the reading end of things lol).

  124. 2010 April 24 9:36 pm
    [124]

    Want to see real violent racists at work?

    “A white supremacist lawyer was stabbed and beaten to death by a black neighbour who had done yard work for him at his home in Pearl, Mississippi.

    A preliminary post mortem showed Richard Barrett, 67, was stabbed multiple times in the neck and bashed in the head, Sheriff Ronnie Pennington said.

    He had burns over 35 per cent of his body, though investigators believe he was killed on Wednesday night and his house set on fire Thursday to cover up his death.

    Pennington did not disclose a motive but said neighbour Vincent McGee, 22, was charged with murder on Thursday and deputies charged three other people in the case on Friday.
    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1268474/White-supremacist-stabbed-beaten-death-black-neighbour-Mississippi-town.html#ixzz0m5EGQb4q

  125. 2010 April 24 9:50 pm
    [125]

    Well JM – First I start saving them – along with the author and the date, then categorize each (where possible) will help with the index or the ability to break it up by chapters so to speak where you could intro each chapter setting up the context of the environment\news at the time.

    As for getting it published (beyond the creation and editing process) you have two primary options I think:
    a) Go the relative online route lulu.com or various other services.
    b) Contact one of the more conservative book publishers with the draft.
    Or you could do a… get a feel for interest then b.

    I have no idea if it’s viable outside the blog-o-sphere though, don’t know what the market is in general for poetry – least of all one of the conservative perspective (always thought it was more a liberal genre), gotta be a generally small audience I would think.

    I actually could envision two of them, one collection though November\December 2010, and one from about that time though Jan 2012.

  126. 2010 April 24 9:56 pm
    [126]

    Oh and before one of our posters decides to sue you for using thier work.. on the poetry thread or a disclaimer at the bottom of the comments box in general you might want to just just add a line about anything original you post here you granting BJG the right at it’s sole discretion to use or republish. Fairly standard to see that buried somewhere on most sites these days anyway; not that 99.9% of people are going to care.

  127. 2010 April 24 10:21 pm
    [127]
    retlaw permalink

    JustMary permalink

    #113 “I have been looking into that these last few days. Having never done anything like this, it is kind of daunting. Anyone here with experience in this?”
    *********************************************
    I have never published a book, but my late Mom published 3 books of poetry. First one when she was 63 years old, second one when she was 65, and third one in 1996 when she was an 82 year old widow—7 years before her passing. And most of those last seven years she still wrote her poems, and though those hundreds were never published, we kept them all after her passing. Not bad for a country farm girl whose formal education only extended through ninth grade.

    Her Mom and Dad lived about 15 or so miles from the town where the high school was; there was no school bus transportation back then. Folks from “the country” had to pay room and board to a willing family in the town in order for the “country” kids to be able to attend the town school. My Mom had three sisters and her Dad could not afford to continue sending them all to high school.

    First two books she typed up the pages herself on her trusty manual typewriter, and had a local mom and pop printing outfit lay it out, reproduce and do the binding. For the third book a friend (40 years her junior) volunteered to type it up (Mom did pay her some money for her efforts though). Had to send a copy off to the Feds when she applied for the copyright.

    Cost to produce each paperback book was around $1500. She had several hundred of each book produced. She gave some as gifts and sold the rest from home basically at cost to recoup her expenses.

    With home computer programs and cut and paste, etc. it should be “comparatively” simple to lay out the draft pages to be photo ready. Contact some local print shops and see how much the production cost would be today to print X number of books of X inches dimensions, with X number of pages. Where you market and sell your book (other than on line on your website) would be the biggest obstacle I would think.

    Mom’s three poetry books were 71, 74 and 158 pages, respectively.

  128. 2010 April 24 10:42 pm
    [128]

    Or visit http://www.lulu.com (check out the publish area) upload the finished pdf, cover art etc.. a quick check if you order like 50 or so in paper back it’s like 5.75-8$ a book – Or for even less they’ll publish and list it on amazon for you and handle it all and just take 20% off the top in addition to manufacture cost noted above. Didn’t know till I just checked how much easier they’ve made it (relatively speaking), had only heard of the site from someone months ago. They will assign a free ISBN # as well as the barcode image for you as well. Pretty slick – I’m starting to reconsider some of my own book idea’s tonight – always wanted to write some political thriller about a situation where Texas seceded (I better hurry it might not non-fiction soon enough).

    Tools needed.. either a recent copy of ms-word or acrobat; could probably just use anything so long as it converts to distilled pdf.

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