This just in from the Ministry of Truth! – 6/14/2012 Edition

2012 June 14
by justrand

Comrades, it is with sadness that we here at the Ministry of Truth must report a setback in the war against Crawford, Texas.  The forces of darkness that the nefarious George W. Bush has marshalled there, launched a vicious counter-attack against our brave workers…leading to an “up-tick” in the New Claims for Unemployment number. It “up-ticked” 6,000 to 386,000 from 377,000 380,000.  [Note: please report any friends/family/co-workers who claim it was NOT already 380,000…they are either deluded or are themselves agents of the “W-Brigade“]

This is only a minor and temporary setback in our Dear Leader’s war against “W” and, or course, EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia (whom we have always been at war with)! In fact, it may not be a setback at all!!  As our splendid Comrades at the A/P reported:

More Americans sought unemployment aid last week, suggesting hiring remains sluggish.

You see?  It is only a “suggestion“!!  Like when a waiter “suggests” a particular item on the menu…but you can simply IGNORE the suggestion, and that is what we here at the Ministry of Truth SUGGEST you do: ignore the suggestion that there is bad news!!!    [If you need help ignoring the “suggestion” that there could even POSSIBLY be bad news in the Age of Obama, please contact the Department of Proctological Education (DOPE)…they should be able to, um, help]

This week’s Public Service Announcement:

Cher‘s mom looks great, doesn’t she?  We know this because Yahoo “News” featured Cher’s mom at the top of their “News Roundup” all last weekend!  You see?  That should convince even the dimmest of bulbs out that there was NO bad news last week…else why would THAT have been THE top news item?  Duh!

76 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 June 14 6:31 am
    [1]
    justrand permalink

    please note…there will be another thread up titled: “A Continuing Process”. The “gentleman” who will be posting this, “BC3B”, is quite obviously a secret agent of the nefarious “W-Brigade”. But as he is already scheduled for “re-education”, we here at the Ministry of Truth have no problem with you reading his LIES about Lord Obama!!!!

    Just remember: the TRUTH comes only from the Ministry of Truth! 🙂

  2. 2012 June 14 6:33 am
    [2]
    justrand permalink

    bc3b…go ahead and put your post up starting at 8:00 a.m. LeftCoastTime …the Ministry of Truth has given the go-ahead (for they know that only THEY tell the truth! 🙂 )

  3. 2012 June 14 6:36 am
    [3]
    bc3b permalink

    JR –

    When I saw your post up, I deleted “A Continuing Process.” It will reappear when things get slow.

    One nice thing about me – transportation costs to re-education camp are minimal.

  4. 2012 June 14 6:47 am
    [4]
    justrand permalink

    and that’s only ONE nice thing about you! 🙂

  5. 2012 June 14 6:52 am
    [5]
    justrand permalink

    this “gem” was included in the A/P’s spin reporting on the unemployment news:

    Applications fell steadily during the fall and winter but have since leveled off” (they’ve “leveled off” by rising steadily…but who’s counting, eh?)

  6. 2012 June 14 6:57 am
    [6]
    drdog09 permalink

    5, Julia has gotten a little thinner since the last time I saw her on YouTube. The soup that the Ministry of Truth dishes out must be thin gruel indeed!

  7. 2012 June 14 7:04 am
    [7]
    drdog09 permalink

    Alert the Ministry of Truth! ZeroHedge has leaked reality! http://www.zerohedge.com/news/initial-claims-miss-big-people-falling-extended-claims-soar-135k-cpi-plunges-most-december-2008

    Before you know it MoT will have DoJ squash the ZH.

  8. 2012 June 14 7:06 am
    [8]
    JustMary permalink

    Are things like slashed benefits ever counted? Companies downsizing in ways other than jobs? Less hours (though not to the point of being under employed), asking employees to pay for their bennies that have always been discounted to near zero, no more sick time, no more xyz? Because these things affect the economy as well. They are more of the SBD nature though. 😉

  9. 2012 June 14 7:08 am
    [9]
    JustMary permalink

    I love IP ever so much today. That is all.

  10. 2012 June 14 7:14 am
    [10]
    drdog09 permalink

    A great Romney ad — http://youtu.be/8o8GSkkeXH0

    Keep hitting. Don’t give Team Obama any daylight. Keep them on the defensive.

  11. 2012 June 14 7:15 am
    [11]
    justrand permalink

    http://hotair.com/archives/2012/06/14/obama-reframing-speech-boils-down-to-reagans-1982-argument/

    good article with lots of links…bottom line: Obama’s ENTIRE strategy will be what we always knew it would be…it’s BUSH’S fault!! (and Romney = Bush, or something)

  12. 2012 June 14 7:16 am
    [12]
    drdog09 permalink

    9, Ok JM spill it. 🙂

  13. 2012 June 14 7:16 am
    [13]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    If I “unexpectedly” crap in my pants, does that mean it will not smell or be unconfortable?!!!

  14. 2012 June 14 7:17 am
    [14]
    bc3b permalink

    Dell plans $2 billion in cuts; doesn’t say how many people will be cut:

    http://news.yahoo.com/dell-eyes-more-2b-cuts-over-3-years-180446031–finance.html

  15. 2012 June 14 7:17 am
    [15]

    JM love Smileys IP

  16. 2012 June 14 7:20 am
    [16]

    post 13~~of course not, as you can always point the finger at Bush.

  17. 2012 June 14 7:24 am
    [17]
    justrand permalink

    RP & IP…Obama should make THIS his re-election pitch:

    “If you DON’T vote for me you’ll have to start taking responsibility for your life! So re-elect me and let’s go on BLAMING BUSH!

    I hate to say it…but I think that would be a winning argument in our “modern” America 🙁

  18. 2012 June 14 7:25 am
    [18]
    drdog09 permalink

    BC, 14,

    Dell’s whole market cap is 21.5Bn. Not a drastic cut, but certainly significant.

  19. 2012 June 14 7:27 am
    [19]
    justrand permalink

    Reuters, bless their hearts, came through for us!

    The number of Americans filing new claims for unemployment benefits unexpectedly rose last week

  20. 2012 June 14 7:29 am
    [20]

    Taking a poll: numbnuts “October surprise” by exec order.

    1)legalizing pot.
    2)Granting amnesty to illegals.
    3)Dumping biden.
    4)Forgiving student loans
    5)Forgiving home mortgages(for the poor)

  21. 2012 June 14 7:37 am
    [21]
    drdog09 permalink

    #3 is bumblebutts only option.

  22. 2012 June 14 7:37 am
    [22]
    JustMary permalink

    #20 I saw the article on your #1 point yesterday, but I don’t think he can or will do that on a federal level. Yeah, a few states might put it on the ballot and have it pass, but customers who purchase still have to deal with the feds. #s 2-5 are almost a given, but he’d have to do that before the election, because at this point, I don’t think that all those youngsters who voted for him before still believe he has the ability to do anything that helps them. This time he might just have to pay in advance. If they are dumb enough to fall for his lies again, there won’t be any recourse when he fails them- again. They can’t not vote for him again.

  23. 2012 June 14 7:43 am
    [23]

    Fortunately exec orders can be rescinded by a new exec.

  24. 2012 June 14 7:55 am
    [24]
    justrand permalink

    IP…my take on these:

    1)legalizing pot. – potential for MASSIVE backlash I doubt he does this, though he will “hint” at an “evolving position” on this
    2)Granting amnesty to illegals. – also potential for backlash…but also may buy him enough countering votes. PLUS, the media will paint him as a macho combination of Moses+Ghandi…with a touch of Reagan (yes, they’ll dredge THAT up again). I think he does this.
    3)Dumping biden. Biden is ONE more “up-tick” in the whimsical Monthly Unemployment number from “deciding to pursue other opportunities” I think he definately does this!
    4)Forgiving student loans – Wow…this would CRATER the economy, and convince all future college students that THEY are also “entitled” to a free college education! Yup…cratering the economy would NOT faze this bozo one bit. The timing would be tricky though. I don’t think he does this.
    5)Forgiving home mortgages(for the poor) same caveats as the Student Loan thingee

    Items 4 & 5 are the scariest, since he would have to do them KNOWING they would have a devestating impact on the markets…but Jughead does NOT give a damn!

    #3 is a sure thing, IMHO. I have still seen ZERO (none, nada, zilch) “Obama-Biden 2012” stickers…but LOTS of “Obama – 2012” stickers. There’s a reason

  25. 2012 June 14 7:56 am
    [25]

    You’re going to love this one…..

    Barack and Michelle Obama are at the O’s game.
    Sitting in the first row with the Secret Service people directly behind them,
    one of the Secret Service agents leans forward and says something to the President.

    Barack stares at the guy, looks at Michelle, looks back at the agent, and
    shakes his head “no” violently.

    The agent then says, “Mr. President, it was a unanimous request, from
    the owner of the team down to the bat boy. And…the fans would love it!”

    So, Barack shrugs his shoulders and says, “If that’s what the people want.”
    He gets up, grabs Michelle by her collar and the seat of her pants, and
    throws her right over the wall into the field.

    She gets up kicking, swearing, and screaming — and the crowd goes wild,
    cheering, applauding, and high-fiving.

    Barack is bowing and smiling, and leans over to the agent and says,
    “You were right, I would have never believed that!”

    Then noticing the agent has gone totally pale, Barack asks what is wrong.

    The agent replies, “Sir, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!”

  26. 2012 June 14 7:58 am
    [26]
    justrand permalink

    I DO love it! Of course, it is soooooo unreal! There is NO WAY that Barry could lift Michelle. Hell, a forklift would have trouble pitching her!

  27. 2012 June 14 8:14 am
    [27]
    drdog09 permalink

    25,

    That should be on your list of `surprises`. It would get Obama reelected for sure!

  28. 2012 June 14 9:09 am
    [28]
    drdog09 permalink

    See drudge, Egypt going down the rabbit hole…

  29. 2012 June 14 9:11 am
    [29]

    famous people (slide your mouse and click)

  30. 2012 June 14 9:13 am
    [30]
    justrand permalink

    go watch…enjoy!!
    http://www.mrctv.org/videos/clinton-2010-if-it-doesnt-work-two-years-vote-us-all-out-then-0

    yup…two years ago in the same place Obama is speaking today, Billy said THIS:
    “The Democrats are saying something like this: ‘We found a big hole that we did not dig. We didn’t get it filled in 21 months, but at least we quit digging. Give us two more years. If it doesn’t work, vote us out.’”

  31. 2012 June 14 9:18 am
    [31]

    Rush new epithet~~~ Barack “Oblamo”

  32. 2012 June 14 9:51 am
    [32]
    JustMary permalink

    I have still seen ZERO (none, nada, zilch) “Obama-Biden 2012″ stickers…but LOTS of “Obama – 2012″ stickers. There’s a reason

    I have noticed that as well, with the exception of the “lots” part. I have only seen a handful, but they are indeed only Obama ones. What I HAVE seen LOTS of are variations of the “nOpe” stickers. I always make sure to give those folks a thumbs up, instead of the one finger salute reserved for O voters.

  33. 2012 June 14 9:53 am
    [33]
    JustMary permalink

    Oh- and all the O stickers have been on a Prius. Prius drivers are the worst drivers on the freaking road. They cannot stay in their lanes, they drive so far under the speed limit that they may as well be on the bike paths, and they are almost always on their cell phones, laws be damned.

  34. 2012 June 14 9:57 am
    [34]
    judyt2012 permalink

    Hitler, FDR and Eisenhower but not Churchill
    Margaret Thatcher but no Reagan (ditto Clinton and George Bush (41))
    Lincoln but no Washington (or Jefferson, Madison, etc)
    Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe but no Katherine Hepburn or Bette Davis … and no Gary Cooper, Gregory Peck, Jimmy Stewart, Henry Fonda, Humphrey Bogart etc (oh they did include Brando)

    Beethoveen but no Mozart

    One heck of a lot of artists (painters) no no Jackson Pollack

    Hemingway and Shakespeare but no Dickens, Austin (she did invent the romance novel), etc

  35. 2012 June 14 10:04 am
    [35]
    justrand permalink

    speaking of famous people…

    http://reason.com/blog/2012/06/14/white-house-quietly-removes-obama-boasts?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+reason%2FHitandRun+%28Reason+Online+-+Hit+%26+Run+Blog%29

    it looks Obama’s RP people decided mucking up former President’s bios was too much even for them! 🙂

  36. 2012 June 14 10:06 am
    [36]
    justrand permalink

    judy, Churchill is there…FWIW

  37. 2012 June 14 10:07 am
    [37]
    judyt2012 permalink

    #14-#32 —

    Negotiations are still underway with the Clintons. Nothing will be decided until the convention (or after). Although I don’t see him taking Hillary. Obama doesn’t want to share the stage with anyone… especially not Hillary.

    I am thinking that Obama would take a Claire McCaskill before Hillary. But Carville is sticking his ugly mug into strategy so negotiations must be underway.

    I don’t see the Clinton’s coming in unless the real numbers are close. Right now I think there are internal polls that don’t overcount Democrats and apply a real Bradley effect to the votes for Obama (I’ll tell you Obama so you don’t call me a racist– but I am not voting for him).

    Hillary would accept VP only if she moves the needle sufficiently for ZERO to win. I don’t see Hillary moving the needle more than 2 to 3 points, so if the internals show Obama lower Hillary will not attach herself to a losing ticket.

  38. 2012 June 14 10:09 am
    [38]
    judyt2012 permalink

    Where … I did not see him

  39. 2012 June 14 10:10 am
    [39]
    drdog09 permalink

    With the selection that was chosen I would have expected Andy Warhol or at least the soup can. Or how about the Beatles? Good or ill, they defined a generation. Stalin is in the picture but no graphic depicting the 25m Russians and Ukrainians he exterminated.

  40. 2012 June 14 10:10 am
    [40]
    JustMary permalink

    #35 From the comments:

    Pro Libertate|6.14.12 @ 11:39AM|#

    When Washington did not tell a lie and confessed his sin to his father, it was President Obama who urged him to do the right thing.

    Brutus|6.14.12 @ 11:53AM|#

    It was actually President Obama that drafted the Emacipation Proclamation and urged Lincoln to sign it.

    RBS|6.14.12 @ 11:59AM|#

    But did he help Lincoln kill all those vampires?

    Episiarch|6.14.12 @ 12:00PM|#

    We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out to find out.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  41. 2012 June 14 10:15 am
    [41]

    winston just below bruce lee

  42. 2012 June 14 10:15 am
    [42]
    judyt2012 permalink

    It is appropriate that Che, Fidel, Brando as Don Corleone and Yasser Arafat are next to each other. All are self-serving murderers. True one is a work of fiction but another’s life has been ficitionalized in order to sell t-shirts.

  43. 2012 June 14 10:22 am
    [43]

    A black kid asks his mom, “Mama, what’s a democracy?”
    “Well, son, that’s when whites work every day so we can get all our benefits!”
    “But mama, don’t the white people get mad about that?”
    “Sure they do, and that’s called racism!”

  44. 2012 June 14 10:40 am
    [44]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    No Moses, William the Conqueror, Heny VIII, No Washington(or any other Patroit of the revolution, but a lot of Russians and Chinese

  45. 2012 June 14 10:50 am
    [45]

    Here are the painters~~~explains the omissions

    Chinese Artists Dai Dudu, Li Tiezi, and Zhang An, 2006, oil on canvas

  46. 2012 June 14 10:53 am
    [46]

    this more better.

  47. 2012 June 14 11:13 am
    [47]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    Latest trick by Unions: Be Wary.

    http://dailycaller.com/2012/06/13/unionizing-the-unemployed/

    Now they want billions to make WPA type programs for unemployed. OF COURSE UNION DUES WILL BE DEDUCTED BEFORE THEY GET A SMALL PITTANCE. Paid by us taxpayers, of course.

    Unions/dem/liberals always steal money from taxpayers to put in their own coffers.

  48. 2012 June 14 11:28 am
    [48]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    Hillary will only run if she is on top of any ticket.

    Days are getting short for them to disqualify Oblamer

  49. 2012 June 14 11:43 am
    [49]

    Of course any gubmint job program will be under the davis bacon act,
    that mandates the “prevailing wage” be paid, IE the going UNION wage.

  50. 2012 June 14 12:23 pm
    [50]
    judyt2012 permalink

    The apologizes to Nat King Cole and the city of Paris….

    ♫♫Every time I hear the sound of his limitless whine
    whether Ohio, New York, or DC, afternoon or night be his lies.
    ♫♫Whether limitless be his ego or loud be his jeers,
    more and more do I realize:♫

    ♫♫ I hate Obama in the White House♫
    ♫ I hate Obama on the campaign trail when he flies♫
    ♫♫ I hate Obama in press conferences when he lies♫

    ♫♫ I hate Obama every moment, every moment of the year.♫♫

    ♫♫ I hate Obama, why, oh why do I hate Obama? ♫♫

    Because I love my country!
    AND HE IS A THE PRINCE OF LIES

  51. 2012 June 14 12:58 pm
    [51]
    justrand permalink

    excellent, judy!! Nat would be proud…I like to think.

    Speaking of singers…Ray Charles’ “America the Beautiful” remains the most stirring rendition of that song I have ever heard. I like to think that Ray would be ASHAMED of Obama!

  52. 2012 June 14 1:30 pm
    [52]
    bc3b permalink

    Obama in Ohio: Election will be a chance to break the stalemate:

    http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_OBAMA?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-06-14-14-25-57

    What about the nearly two years when the Dems had a huge majority in the House and a filabuster-proof Senate (before Scott Brown was seated)?

  53. 2012 June 14 1:59 pm
    [53]
    justrand permalink

    by ALL accounts (including MSLSD) the Obama speech today was a rambling 54 minutes WASTE OF TIME & BREATH!

    Ahhhh…but Obama knows for a FACT that the media will re-arrange the buzzwords and stock-phrases to turn it into SUPER SPEECH!!!

    That’s why he doesn’t even try any more…no need.

  54. 2012 June 14 2:02 pm
    [54]

    20) None of the above.

  55. 2012 June 14 2:08 pm
    [55]

    BTW I don’t think he can dump Biden now, look at the damage Biden does when he’s on the team, image what damage he could be doing if it wasn’t on the team. You really think team obama wants Biden’s mouth unleashed? Not to mention unless it was Hillary nobody is going to give a sh1t if he swaps vp’s it’ll just be seen for what it would be, throwing more crap at the wall to see what might stick.

  56. 2012 June 14 2:13 pm
    [56]

    re:28 – “The Supreme Council of the Armed Forces, in control of the country since Mubarak’s ouster, said that it now has full legislative power and that by Friday it will announce a 100-person assembly that will write the country’s new constitution.” -deja vu

  57. 2012 June 14 2:26 pm
    [57]

    btw -10,000 additional jobs at Nokia (worldwide) over the next 12mo.

  58. 2012 June 14 2:45 pm
    [59]
    mulletover permalink

  59. 2012 June 14 3:04 pm
    [60]
    judyt2012 permalink

    http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/302834/krauthammers-take-nro-staff

    As relates back to Obama’s baked into that cake left out in the rain, I ready Krauthammer’s take on Obama’s math calculations and all I could think about is that Obama’s credentials for accounting and math sit far below the level of competency that he has demonstrated as a US Constitutional Law professor instructor lecturer Saul Alinksy propagandist.

    In other words, the only one dumber when it comes to explaining math than Obama are those who think Obama’s words are anything but fantasy. The only relationship Obama’s speeches have with the truth is that the words are written using the English alphabet.

    Otherwise Obama’s words are all Greek to me, Greek as is Greece as in another socialist mess that is falling over the cliff on the way to crash and burn.

  60. 2012 June 14 3:05 pm
    [61]
    drdog09 permalink

    No. The woman has more money than Scrooge McDuck. She can feed herself.

  61. 2012 June 14 3:39 pm
    [62]
    MI Conservative permalink

    I don’t know if posted before but Nigel Farage newest speec going virale.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_0g-LImpoU

  62. 2012 June 14 3:44 pm
    [63]
    MI Conservative permalink

    If only America had a leader like Nigel.

  63. 2012 June 14 6:03 pm
    [64]
    drdog09 permalink

    MIC,

    I listened to Farage’s speech probably a half dozen times and it still stirs me. The man has the mastery of pointing out the idioticy of situations.

  64. 2012 June 14 6:26 pm
    [65]
    drdog09 permalink

    This makes for a busy and confusing fathers day — http://wreg.com/2012/06/13/memphis-man-owes-child-support-to-15-women/

  65. 2012 June 14 6:40 pm
    [66]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    This just in from RP News Service:

    http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/rasmussen-romney-269-obama-243_647240.html

    The train is leaving the station with The Resident and other dims.

    :glad:

  66. 2012 June 14 6:42 pm
    [67]
    RepublicanPundit permalink

    Sigh: The train is leaving the station without The Resident and other dims

    [66]

    RepublicanPundit permalink

    This just in from RP News Service:

    http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/rasmussen-romney-269-obama-243_647240.html

    The train is leaving the station without The Resident and other dims.

    :glad:

  67. 2012 June 14 6:48 pm
    [68]
    MI Conservative permalink

    RP-Interesting. I don’t understand Pennsylvania. Demographics seem perfect for Rep. but it never occurs.

  68. 2012 June 14 6:49 pm
    [69]
    MI Conservative permalink

    Dang Amish need more voters …………going in twice to vote. and dead relatives.

  69. 2012 June 14 7:30 pm
    [70]
    bc3b permalink

    There are lots of women in the ghetto with 5-6 children by 3-6 different men and in some cases don’t even know which man daddy is. Lots of “sperm donors” and not many fathers.

  70. 2012 June 14 7:41 pm
    [71]
    gnqanq permalink

    MI Conservative – problem with Pennsylvania is Philadelphia. They get 90% plus voter turnout (better known as cheating). In some precincts in the past have had 100% voter turnout.

    From what I have read in the past, Pennsylvania hinges on the Philly suburbs.

  71. 2012 June 14 8:02 pm
    [72]

    English is a beautiful language:

    Did you know:

    * That the words “race car” spelled backward still spells “race car”?

    * That “eat” is the only word that if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense “ate”?

    * And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in “illegal immigrants”, and add just a few more letters, it spells out: “Go home you free-loading, benefit grabbing, kid-producing, violent, non-English speaking hairy-faced, sandal wearing, bomb making, goat loving, raggedy ass radical Muslim bastards.”

  72. 2012 June 14 9:05 pm
    [73]
    justrand permalink

    and “O-B-A-M-A” in any direction spells “A-S-S-H-O-L-E”!!

  73. 2012 June 14 10:03 pm
    [74]
    mpthompson permalink

    and “O-B-A-M-A” in any direction spells “A-S-S-H-O-L-E”!!

    Wow! You’re right! I never noticed that before.

  74. 2012 June 15 5:01 am
    [75]

  75. 2012 June 15 5:44 am
    [76]
    drdog09 permalink

    And to think that is just the melons Michelle eats this week.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.