This just in from the Ministry of Truth! – 12/13/2012 Edition
Once again the Ministry is giddy with giddiness. The Labor Department (an
unindicted co-conspirator affiliate of the Obama campaign) said Thursday that weekly applications for unemployment benefits fell 27,000 29,000 from 370,000 372,000 last week to a seasonally (ginger) adjusted 343,000.
Our beloved Comrades at the A/P call this: “a sign that the job market may be improving.” (It may also be a sign that the world really WILL end this month…as the Mayans may or may not have predicted)
The A/P then helpfully reminds us that the only reason there was ANY bad news to begin with was: “Applications spiked five weeks ago because of Superstorm Sandy.” And the A/P always knows best!
BLS: “Our analysis suggests that Hurricane Sandy did not substantively impact the national employment and unemployment estimates for November.”
Lastly, although “Superstorm Sandy” has finally stopped “spiking applications” (or whatever the A/P said) we do remain at war with
Eurasia Eastasia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia, whom we have always been at war with. …AND, “the cliff” still looms!! EastAsia Eurasia
This week’s Public Service Announcement
Remember, the government (aka: the United  States of Obama) counts people without jobs as unemployed only if they’re actively seeking one. (i.e., if you’re not employed, but don’t try to BE employed, then you’re not “unemployed“, you’re just “not employed”…and so: “Meh!”)
Therefore, in order to help further lower the ‘Unemployment Rate’ all citizens are encouraged to NOT actively seek work (and encouraged to encourage others to be “not employed” as well). If you do not have a job (or
misplace lose the one you currently have) please follow these simple instructions:
- Sit on the couch
- Stretch our your LEFT hand (since all good things come from the Left)
- Moan: “Please, Lord Obama, I need stuff“
“Stuff” will be provided! And by not actively seeking work you will have lowered the unemployment rate!! Thank you!