This just in from the Ministry of Truth! – 1/31/2013 Edition – UPDATE: UE Rate 7.9%
The Ministry of Truth must be in a bad mood, or something. We thought this might possibly in some small way be bad news…kinda. Luckily, despite our negative Nancy initial view, our Comrades at the A/P provided this
utter bullshit outlook:
The mostly upbeat Labor Department report included one discouraging sign: the unemployment rate rose to 7.9 percent from 7.8 percent in December.
Whew! Reuters, no slouches themselves at
making $hit up in-depth analysis, provided this:
The jobs data should soothe any worries the economy was at risk of recession.
“Even if it’s not spectacular, it would be encouraging because it would enable us to further write off the GDP report as not telling us anything useful about what’s happening in the economy,” said John Ryding, chief economist at RDQ Economics in New York.
Yup, that silly GDP needs to be “further written off” as being just, well, SILLY! There’s no way the GDP report could tell us anything! And the fact that the economy added fewer jobs than the number of people entering the workforce, and thus MORE people are unemployed…on top of the number of people seeking initial UE benefits going UP by nearly 40,000 in one week…is ALL good news!!!!!!!!!!
Reuters & A/P…thank you for provided THE TRUTH ™
Now back to Sunshine, Lollipops & Rainbows!!
*************** end Update **************************
The Labor Department said Thursday that initial claims for unemployment benefits increased 38,000 to a seasonally adjusted 368,000. Which season? The season of Despair…or so we thought! But no, it is the season of JOY…aka: The Age of Obama! For while we THOUGHT that 38,000 more people being unemployed was bad news…Reuters
spun explained it differently!
The number of Americans filing new claims for unemployment benefits bounced off five-year lows last week, pulling them back to levels consistent with modest job growth.
You see? The number BOUNCED off those pesky lows…and NOW has been pulled”back to levels consistent with modest job growth.”
And you, a member of the great unwashed, thought this was bad news?? That just demonstrates, AGAIN, why you’re not a “leading economist“!
Reuters (bless their hearts) didn’t provide this week’s best
cheerleading reporting…though it wasn’t for lack of trying! Bloomberg worked overtime to win the “ Lipstick On The Pig” “All is AWESOME!” award. You may recall that yesterday we told you that the Annual GDP was now negative (-.1)…which even WE here at the Ministry thought might possibly be less than fully awesome. Shame on us! Here is Bloomberg’s take on the GDP news:
R-Word For U.S. Economy in 2013 is Rebound Not Recession
The “R” word that economists were using after yesterday’s news that U.S. gross domestic product contracted in the fourth quarter was rebound, not recession.”
Which “economists“?? Probably LEADING economists…so “leading” that Bloomberg didn’t feel we needed to know…or could even understand. Thank you Bloomberg!
Although we remain at war with
Eastasia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia, whom we have always been at war with, this AWESOME news that “unemployment benefits bounced off five-year lows last week, pulling them back to levels consistent with modest job growth” has got us here at the Ministry smiling again!!
This week’s Public Service Announcement
Lord Obama has decided that since the economy is rocking, he is disbanding his “Jobs Council“. These busy busy bees have met 4, count ’em FOUR, times in the last two years…for a total of about 3 hours. They are exhausted!!! I sure hope we paid ’em a bunch! [just kidding…of course we did!]
Congrats, Jobs Council peeps…you rock!