This just in from the Ministry of Truth! – 1/3/2013 Edition
The Labor Department said Thursday that weekly applications rose to 372,000 from
350,000 362,000…a rise of 22,000 10,000. You might think this is due to seasonal adjustment…but it is due to something much more sinister…as Reuters spintastically notes in their headline:
Jobless claims rise in holiday-distorted week
“Holiday Distortion!” This is similar to when Uncle Fred has too much rum-laced Egg Nog and proceeds to pass out face down in his plum pudding…but on a national economy scale. Thank you, Reuters, for being so, well, helpful!
Sadly, the “Holiday Distortion” effects will linger into next week’s report as the reports from nine States (including itsy-bitsy States like California and Virginia) had to once again be
spun “estimated”. As this is the first year the United States has experienced “Holidays” (and thus “Holiday Distortion”) the impact of these events will need to be studied carefully to see if we can still afford them!
Reuters (bless their hearts) also provides this
bullshit insight into why “Employers” (read: Greedy Fat-Cat oppressors!) haven’t been employing more:
Employers’ hesitancy to ramp up hiring had been blamed on the so-called fiscal cliff, a combination of sharp government spending cuts and higher taxes.
As you may have heard, Congress cut a massive 0.44% out of the $3.8 trillion dollar budget for 2013! “Sharp” doesn’t do this justice! Over 10 years these “sharp government cuts” will save us roughly $600 billion…or (again) roughly half this year’s deficit. If you don’t understand how taking 10 years to recoup HALF of THIS year’s deficit leads to prosperity, it’s because you’re not an “Economic Expert” (so there!)
We do, of course, remain at war with
Eastasia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia, whom we have always been at war with. But Lord Obama has promised to focus on this…once he has led the nation through it’s current bout of “Holiday Distortion”
This week’s Public Service Announcement
In a joint-statement Senators Diane Feinstein (D-Liesure World) and Lisa Murkowski (R-Seaside Stables) declared that it is an abundance of “testosterone” in Congress that has made Congress “confrontational” and “dysfunctional“.
Clearly they have never met John Boehner.
Senators Feinstein and Murkowski announced they will introduce a Bill to require all male Congress Critters be neutered upon being elected to Congress. Naturally, the entire GOP would be exempt from this because, as Dick 🙂 Durbin noted: “The GOP doesn’t have any balls to begin with!”