This just in from the Ministry of Truth! – 1/3/2013 Edition

2013 January 3
by justrand

The Labor Department said Thursday that weekly applications rose to 372,000 from 350,000 362,000…a rise of 22,000 10,000.   You might think this is due to seasonal adjustment…but it is due to something much more sinister…as Reuters spintastically notes in their headline:

Jobless claims rise in holiday-distorted week

 “Holiday Distortion!” This is similar to when Uncle Fred has too much rum-laced Egg Nog and proceeds to pass out face down in his plum pudding…but on a national economy scale.  Thank you, Reuters, for being so, well, helpful!

Sadly, the “Holiday Distortion” effects will linger into next week’s report as the reports from nine States (including itsy-bitsy States like California and Virginia) had to once again be spun “estimated”.  As this is the first year the United States has experienced “Holidays” (and thus “Holiday Distortion”) the impact of these events will need to be studied carefully to see if we can still afford them!

Reuters (bless their hearts) also provides this bullshit insight into why “Employers” (read: Greedy Fat-Cat oppressors!) haven’t been employing more:

Employers’ hesitancy to ramp up hiring had been blamed on the so-called fiscal cliff, a combination of sharp government spending cuts and higher taxes. 

 As you may have heard, Congress cut a massive 0.44% out of the $3.8 trillion dollar budget for 2013!  “Sharp” doesn’t do this justice!  Over 10 years these “sharp government cuts” will save us roughly $600 billion…or (again) roughly half this year’s deficit.   If you don’t understand how taking 10 years to recoup HALF of THIS year’s deficit leads to prosperity, it’s because you’re not an “Economic Expert” (so there!)

We do, of course, remain at war with Eastasia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia, whom we have always been at war with.  But Lord Obama has promised to focus on this…once he has led the nation through it’s current bout of “Holiday Distortion”

This week’s Public Service Announcement

Testosterone alert!

In a joint-statement Senators Diane Feinstein (D-Liesure World) and Lisa Murkowski (R-Seaside Stables) declared that it is an abundance of “testosterone” in Congress that has made Congress “confrontational” and “dysfunctional“.

Clearly they have never met John Boehner.

Senators Feinstein and Murkowski announced they will introduce a Bill to require all male Congress Critters be neutered upon being elected to Congress.  Naturally, the entire GOP would be exempt from this because, as Dick 🙂 Durbin noted: “The GOP doesn’t have any balls to begin with!”

Stay tuned…

41 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 January 3 9:45 am
    drdog09 permalink

    Rush is really driving home the difference between asset wealth and income wealth like a chainsaw.

  2. 2013 January 3 9:51 am
    justrand permalink

    Dear drdog,

    In re. this “Rush” person you speak of…soon we will be driving home the difference between “torture” and “re-education” to him at our upcoming Seminar: “Learning to Love Lord Obama”.

    After we, um, open his eyes, I am sure he will do less rabble rousing and more praising of The Won!

    Minion 9631, Happiness Enforcer 3rd Class
    Ministry of Truth, Bowel Level 19

  3. 2013 January 3 10:14 am
    drdog09 permalink

    `Happiness Enforcer`? Wow! I can’t wait! 🙂 I assume a lot of leather is involved….

  4. 2013 January 3 10:19 am

    Wait until there is a “wealth tax” introduced on top of everything else. Mass exodus of the “wealthy”

  5. 2013 January 3 10:30 am
    JustMary permalink

    You do know what seasoning is in egg nog, don’t you? Nutmeg!!!! Perhaps the distortion came from folks putting too much nutmeg in their drinks, and as I can personally attest to- it is a huge distortion when it comes to taste! This, according to science, is what makes this distortion so very sinister. Scary stuff, holidays.

  6. 2013 January 3 10:52 am
    drdog09 permalink

    note to Mullet — Boner has retained his Speakership. — Your ideas are worth the try tho….

  7. 2013 January 3 11:05 am
    JustMary permalink

    #6 Unreal.

  8. 2013 January 3 11:24 am
    bc3b permalink

    Have you ever seen a website with the comments section powered by DISQUS that wasn’t totally f***ed up?

  9. 2013 January 3 11:25 am
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    More “Minisistry of Truth” stuff – NYT kicks of campaign to scrap the Constitution as “archaic” with “evil” provisions like the 2nd amendment……propaganda to condition the masses for the brutal tyranny comming after the next phoney “crisis” serves as the pretext for the declaration of Martial Law and direct rule by Lord Obama:

    “Let’s Give Up on the Constitution … As the nation teeters at the edge of fiscal chaos, observers are reaching the conclusion that the American system of government is broken. But almost no one blames the culprit: our insistence on obedience to the Constitution, with all its archaic, idiosyncratic and downright evil provisions … Our obsession with the Constitution has saddled us with a dysfunctional political system, kept us from debating the merits of divisive issues and inflamed our public discourse. Instead of arguing about what is to be done, we argue about what James Madison might have wanted done 225 years ago. – New York Times

    Dominant Social Theme: We need a new approach and strong leaders.

    Free-Market Analysis: Our trends for 2013 featured the advance of German-style National Socialism in the US, and this probably qualifies along those lines. The Times article unapologetically makes the argument for doing away with the US Constitution but what is to be substituted and how it is to work is not made clear.

    The argument itself is an obvious one, especially as hardly a shred of the so-called Constitution remains, in any case. The Supreme Court routinely defies it, Congress ignores it and the executive branch simply steps around it as necessary.”

  10. 2013 January 3 11:29 am
    bc3b permalink

    Thank Trent “Mr. Bad Toupe” Lott for getting corporate tax credits into the Cliff bill:

    If there ever was human piece of sh!t, that would be Trent Lott.

  11. 2013 January 3 11:31 am
    bc3b permalink

    drdog09 –

    Rush is really driving home the difference between asset wealth and income wealth like a chainsaw.

    That’s why Warren Buffet is pushing so hard. He only draws about $100k annual salary.

  12. 2013 January 3 11:35 am
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “The main problem with the US Constitution and its surrounding language is that it is a statement recognizing the rights of the individual. It provides the powerful statement that those rights are derived from the almighty and are therefore inviolable.

    This is a truly intolerable perspective from the standpoint of the powers-that-be that operate via mercantilism and need an entirely unchecked government to be most effective. The modern idea is that everyone’s life is subject to the permission of Leviathan and that we all operate under its direction and care.

    This is the heart of what is left of a sometimes noble but often ambiguous and even destructive document. It is the part that the elites could not initially excise. It has taken them two centuries to get to a place where a university sophist can suggest doing away with the US Constitution using an entirely utilitarian argument.

    The main strength of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence is that a Creator grants rights to individuals. This is made clear in the literature, a point that Seidman neglects to make. Actually, he probably does not so much neglect it as avoid it.”

    That darn GOD person again! Did we kill him already?

  13. 2013 January 3 11:42 am
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “Here is where the odious implications of the broader picture emerge. We are asked to believe that some people are inherently different from the rest of us. We are told that the select group − the leaders of socialist/egalitarian governments via their schemes of distribution and equalization − is immune from the errors of the rest of us. That the likes of Ralph Nader, Chuck Schumer, Joe Biden, et al., are really inherently better and wiser folk than are we all is what the citizenry is supposed to accept!

    The conclusion is interesting. Because starting from a desire for equality − fair pricing, lessening the frequency of over- and underestimation of work, etc. − we are led to the establishment of public policies that grant some people the legalized position of institutionalizing their (elitist) errors. It is this conclusion that is never justified. It is the view that this select group of individuals can and will do better than free people in voluntary association at determining what is good or bad within the realm of production and exchange.

    The simple fact is − known since the time of Thomas Aquinas − that we are best off taking the risk with the free market. The “utopian vision” of perfect judgments needs to be abandoned. We should all try to implement the best judgments we can make, at least within our own market activities, and maybe even in cases where our help is asked for or freely accepted.

    It is futile to argue that market decisions could not be better than they are. But it is far sillier to hold that institutionalizing the will of some of us can produce a guaranteed utopia. In that path lies disaster − and we are now tasting its beginnings in our own land.”

  14. 2013 January 3 11:44 am
    bc3b permalink

    Headline from Yahoo News. Jessica Alba looks like a Mullet. Our friend from North Carolina looks better than I thought:

  15. 2013 January 3 11:45 am
    drdog09 permalink

    Have you ever seen a website with the comments section powered by DISQUS that wasn’t totally f***ed up? — BC

    A few but not many. Most are totally useless.

    On a side note Illy’s second largest city, Aurora, had 0 murders and guess what no city based gun restrictions. —

  16. 2013 January 3 12:02 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    Want a good laugh? Check out this joke…..what is more funny is the statist writer/pimp of this propaganda piece was trying to be totally SERIOUS LOL:–no–they%E2%80%99re-not-lincolns–but-they-did-something-good–161133161.html

  17. 2013 January 3 1:24 pm
    bc3b permalink

    Perhaps JBoz can speak to this, but when I lived in the Chicago area, Aurora, while it wasn’t Chicago, wasn’t exactly Lake Forest or Naperville either.

    According to the last census, Aurora is 41.3% Latino and 10.7% black. Congratulations Aurora for showing Chicago that a city with a diverse population of about 200,000 citizens can avoid killing one another.

  18. 2013 January 3 2:36 pm
    drdog09 permalink

    Last month, the Senate Budget Committee reports that in fiscal year 2011, between food stamps, housing support, child care, Medicaid and other benefits, the average US household below the poverty line received $168 a day in government support. What’s the problem with that much support? Well, the median household income in America is just over $50,000, which averages out to $137.13 a day. To put… it another way, being on welfare now pays the equivalent of $30 an hour for a 40-hour week, while the average job pays $25 an hour. And the person who works also has to pay taxes, which drops his pay to $21 an hour. It’s no wonder that welfare is now the biggest part of the budget, more than Social Security or defense. And why would anyone want to get off welfare when working pays $9 an hour less?

    Want to scare the living hell out of 535 assholes? Every business in the US declare that the third week in April Furlough Week. No pay, no estimated payments, no payroll taxes, etc. That hit would destroy any supposed gains from this IRA to Roth gains the government might gather that is part of the fiscal cliff deal.

  19. 2013 January 3 2:42 pm

    7 – Not really…more like fully expected.
    8 – Ditto #15 Here and there yes, for the most part though no.

  20. 2013 January 3 2:44 pm

    “Want to scare the living hell out of 535 assholes? ”

    Want a better way? Start terminating the lives of some of them.

  21. 2013 January 3 2:46 pm
    drdog09 permalink


    LOL!! That’s for sure, but I was trying to at least stay a little legal….. 🙂

  22. 2013 January 3 2:50 pm

    oh… well if congress and courts aren’t going to stay legal why should we. 🙂

    BTW I see TurboTaxTimmy is calling it quits just in time for the debt debate. Ha ha.

  23. 2013 January 3 2:51 pm

    opps sorry strike “debate”, insert “theater”.

  24. 2013 January 3 2:58 pm
    drdog09 permalink

    Putnam County Clerk refuses to hand out any futher data on gun owners to Lower Hudson Journal News. Not the same paper as in the last thread. [corr: is the same paper] Clerk cites public safety as a concern. Paper is suggesting legal action.
    HT: LI

    My God! Other than Judy, there are some level heads in some government entities. Who would have thought that possible.

  25. 2013 January 3 3:08 pm
    bc3b permalink

    drdog09 #24 –

    If ever a newspaper had a death wish, it’s the Lower Hudson Journal News. Let’s hope its wish is granted.

  26. 2013 January 3 3:42 pm
    bc3b permalink

    From the poetic justice corner – man who donated sperm to lesbian couple is sued for child support:

  27. 2013 January 3 4:02 pm
    drdog09 permalink


    Well the State is following the code, good for them. But there is so much to mine here it is freaking unreal –

    * Had this been a monogamous heterosexual couple there would be no discussion — tough it out, ya knew the deal when you conceived the child. But for the LGBT crowd there is a different set of standards. Worse the paper buys into the double standard by not even raising the issue.
    * If the donor had hired a lawyer to draw up the contract I would be suing him for counselling him to sign on to a illegal transaction. Make the lawyer pay the child support. All this of course if a lawyer was involved.
    * A LGBT NGO type concerned about chilling effects. Tough. You want the rights, you also assume the responsibilities by going mainstream. A lot of gays are finding the legal system a nightmare in those that recognize civil unions. Welcome to the real world b!@#$es.

    Kafkaesque sums it up.

  28. 2013 January 3 4:30 pm
    bc3b permalink

    If the guy was stupid enough to be a sperm donor to a couple of lesbians, he is probably a flaming liberal. Sue his a$$!

  29. 2013 January 3 4:35 pm
    JustMary permalink

    Had this been a monogamous heterosexual couple there would be no discussion — tough it out, ya knew the deal when you conceived the child. But for the LGBT crowd there is a different set of standards. Worse the paper buys into the double standard by not even raising the issue.

    If the LMNOP crowd would stop wanting special rights instead of equal rights, none of this would be happening in the first place. For those who think they aren’t asking for special rights? “Hate” speech. “Hate” crimes. The end.

  30. 2013 January 3 4:36 pm
    JustMary permalink

    #24 So will they simply wait for the lawsuit to happen, or will they branch out in the mean time? Hey, look! So many other counties to pick on while we wait!

  31. 2013 January 3 5:55 pm

    The screwing he will get for the screwing he didn’t get.

  32. 2013 January 3 5:57 pm

    Remember the latin motto~~~~thou shall not porkis thy dykis, lest ye also be porked.

  33. 2013 January 3 6:03 pm
    mulletover permalink

    Is tomorrow the day the filibuster dies, and the rights of the Minority are trampled?

    Could be

  34. 2013 January 3 7:49 pm

    The GOP house will have to act as the filibusterers.

  35. 2013 January 3 8:02 pm
    mulletover permalink

    The GOP house will have to act as the filibusterers. – IP

    Well, we are in the deep chit then.

  36. 2013 January 3 8:04 pm
    mulletover permalink

  37. 2013 January 4 5:11 am

    34 – Don’t hold your breath waiting for that. 😉

  38. 2013 January 4 6:00 am
    drdog09 permalink

    The repression of the lab coats shall continue — — till morale improves.

  39. 2013 January 4 6:16 am
    justrand permalink

    drdog, the article in #38 fits right into a Ministry of Truth post! 👿

  40. 2013 January 4 6:27 am
    justrand permalink

    btw…the MOT has posted an UPDATE! in a new thread 🙂

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