This just in from the Ministry of Truth! – January 2014 Unemployment Edition

2014 January 10
by justrand

MinistryTruthThe Ministry of Lame Obfuscation Laboriously (LOL) today that the Unemployment Rate was artificially lowered fell to 6.7% for the month of December  [thunderous applause].  This awesome feat was accomplished despite 451,000 fewer people working in December than worked in November! Only Lord Obama can work such magic…Praise Allen!

Our Comrades at Reuters unexpectedly found a dark cloud behind that silver lining, stating:

U.S. employers hired the fewest workers in almost three years in December

After a quick flogging discussion they added this:  “setback was likely to be temporary amid signs that cold weather conditions might have had an impact.”

Cold weather…of course!!  It’s never been cold before!!

Reuters further notes that the brand spanking new Unemployment Rate of 6.7 percent is the lowest since October 2008!!  Although (again with the gloominess) they add that this: “in part reflected people leaving the labor force”.

Okay, okay…so 525,000 quitters left the work force.  Good riddance!  74,000 people got jobs, and the population increased by 150,000, so…um…SQUIRREL!!

Citizens are reminded that ALL news is GOOD news here in the Age of Obama!  So having the Workforce Participation Rate at an all time low of 62.8% is, by definition, GOOD NEWS!  Citizens are therefore ordered to celebrate!

But while you’re celebrating, remember our brave forces in battle with Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia, whom we have always been at war with.

17 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 January 10 9:03 am
    justrand permalink

    Dear drdog,

    Your observation that today’s number represents a “New milestone, 91.8m not in labor force, highest in 30 years.” was obviously meant to further highlight the AWESOMENESS of Lord Obama…right?

    Thought so.

    Minion 30.06, Praise Coordinator Trainee, 5th Class
    MoT, Offshore Annex 14

  2. 2014 January 10 9:58 am
    MI Conservative permalink

    Unbelievable numbers. They’ll be adjusted to what is needed for the One to succeed at a later date.

  3. 2014 January 10 10:04 am
    MI Conservative permalink

    Is it going to be bad for Dems in 2014? Just look who is running in areas and whose giving up.

    Big one today I see. Gillispie is going to run against Warner in Virginia. I do not believe he’s running unless he did some internal polling, checking on where money would come from, and making sure it’s winnable from numerous sources.

    He’s going to be a rino but it is very telling that he would take the chance to run unless he is confident he can win. And if he feels confident he can win against an incumbent in Virginia is going to be a bad year for Democrats.

  4. 2014 January 10 10:52 am
    mulletover permalink

    Our Dear Leader doesn’t lie. He is simply shielding the people from unpleasant feelings that may result from unjustified interpretations of the employment numbers. Whether you are happy in your job, or your non-job is not the main issue. As long as you are rewarded for your loyalty to Obama with food, shelter, and phones with games is what’s important.

    Good tidings so to speak.

    Or as they say in da hood, das sum good shi!, mo fo.

  5. 2014 January 10 11:12 am
    drdog09 permalink

    6, No s#$* Bro!

  6. 2014 January 10 12:23 pm
    bc3b permalink

    Minion –

    The real traitors are those people who continue to seek employment. If they would just stop looking, unemployment could be at 0%. These unpatriotic fools should stop trying to be self-reliant and simply become part of the governed class. Obviously, these traitorous people are only thinking of themselves and their families.

  7. 2014 January 10 1:30 pm
    bc3b permalink

  8. 2014 January 10 2:21 pm
    JustMary permalink

    #9 We’d have to go back and check, but I remember them ceremoniously touting added jobs last December as well. How strange that there’d be an uptick near a holiday….but when those people are back out of the workforce again, it’ll be because of the polar vortex, and not because Kwanzaa has passed.

  9. 2014 January 10 2:36 pm
    justrand permalink

    great chart at the link:

    but, um, Praise Allen for Lord Obama, or something

  10. 2014 January 10 2:37 pm
    justrand permalink

    JM, like many others we did our Kwanzaa shopping early this year! 🙂

  11. 2014 January 10 2:43 pm
    JustMary permalink

    #12 Means nothing unless you also managed to keep the Kwan in Kwanzaa. It’s very important, you know. Reason for the season and all.

  12. 2014 January 10 7:22 pm
    drdog09 permalink


    Remember 1.3m people dropped out in Dec as their extended benefits terminated.

  13. 2014 January 10 8:13 pm
    gnqanq permalink

    Listened to a radio program the other day about guns/guns sales. According to the program, back in 2008 there was approximately 4 million CCW in America. Now they estimate that there is over 10 million people with CCW.

    That alone tells you that a significant number of people realize things are not right in America. Add in the 10’s of millions who have purchases a gun or guns and the numbers are through the roof.

    Personally, I do NOT have a CCW. Don’t want to be on anyone’s list. Might be already BUT don’t want to move to the front of the line.

  14. 2014 January 10 10:28 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “In his book Three Felonies a Day: How the Feds Target the Innocent, Harvey Silverglate claims: “[I]t is only a slight exaggeration to say that the average busy professional in this country wakes up in the morning, goes to work, comes home, takes care of personal and family obligations and then goes to sleep, unaware that he or she likely committed several Federal crimes that day.”

    Currently, there are more than 4,450 listed Federal criminal offenses. These listed Federal offenses have exploded well beyond the statute books and into the morass of the Code of Federal Regulations, giving Federal prosecutors thousands of additional vague, complex and technical prohibitions removed from Congressional authority or any authority but the Federal prosecutors themselves.

    In America, people are being imprisoned for holding a plant leaf or seed, drinking raw milk or selling natural supplements. Children are being taken away from parents and locked into hospitals both for the “crime” of the parents’ following the advice of their physician and for not following it.

    As we document almost every day, police are becoming increasingly militant, violent and militarized. They are even scooping up surplus tanks and armored vehicles for their police forces. Even the Federal Reserve, a private entity, now has its own police force with arresting powers.

    America the land of the free? In your dreams.”

  15. 2014 January 10 10:34 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “Emails and texts from Christie’s top staffers revealed they had ordered the closure of two lanes of traffic on the George Washington Bridge as a means of punishing a local mayor. The lane closures disrupted traffic and turned the borough of Fort Lee, N.J., into a veritable parking lot for four days. In some of the emails, staffers even mocked the drivers and schoolchildren stuck on school buses for hours in the traffic.

    Christie moved quickly by firing two top staffers involved; and in a long news conference yesterday, he distanced himself from the scandal. He claimed repeatedly he had been lied to by staff, but he had previously denied anyone on his staff was involved at all. The four-day traffic jam had originally been blamed on a traffic study.

    Whether Christie knew about his staffers’ involvement or not, this is yet another example of the type of people who are attracted to the political system. While they claim to hold to heart the best interests of “the people,” most politicians and bureaucrats will stop at nothing to achieve their aims.”

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