This just in from the Ministry of Truth! – January 9, 2014 Edition

2014 January 9
by justrand

MinistryTruthThe Ministry of Weekly Touted Fantasy (WTF) today announced that for the week ending January 4, initial claims for state unemployment benefits fell 6,000 15,000 to 330,000 from 336,000 345,000.

Our Comrades at Reuters said this new number is:

“…pointing to an economy that was continuing to gain steam.

 While we’re not sure which economy the number is pointing at, we are taking Reuters word that the economy in question is “gaining steam”.

The upbeat-picture painters crack economists at Reuters further fantasized noted that

Painterother labor market indicators have painted an upbeat picture of the jobs market and the overall economy”

We here at the MoT wanted to shake the hands of those crack-economists at Reuters, but frankly were reluctant to get paint on our new “Lord Obama ROCKS!” t-shirt.

One thing that doesn’t “rock” is our continuing struggle against Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia, whom we have always been at war with.

This week’s Public Service Announcement

Lord Obama stunned us all this week with his amazing analytical powers noting that: “Not everyone makes the same amount of money as everyone else“.  [gasp!!!]

This “Income inequality” must STOP!!  (except for the Ruling Elite, Hollywood Glitterati, et al)

In the Worker’s Paradise envisioned by our Dear Leader, everyone will have the same lack amount of everything (see exceptions above), based on the utopian principle set down by the Apostle Marx: “From each according to their ability, to each according to their need!”

Comrades are encouraged to carefully note how much those around them have and report it to the “Stuff Accumulation and Distribution” (SAD) Ministry.  Forward!!

13 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 January 9 7:44 am
    mulletover permalink

    Could the Misery of Truth shine any light on why Snap card holders have enjoyed a 30+% increase in their benefits while Social Security recipients have only gotten about 1% during the same period.

    Rep Sheila “Action Jackson” Lee advocates a name change for welfare to Transitional Living Expense or some such bullshat. I would suggest Rep Lee consider that “welfare” is a contraction for “faring well” and leave well enough alone, closing her piehole in the process.

    For a 30% increase in my benefit, she can change my program From FICA to “Rich Advocates of Stealing The Underclass Safety-net” (RASTUS). Why would anybody care what a 30% increase is called as long as they are still getting it?

  2. 2014 January 9 12:22 pm
    MI Conservative permalink

    Christie’s press conference reminded me of a stranded beached whale.

  3. 2014 January 9 12:30 pm
    drdog09 permalink

    Don’t know if this cooks Christie but it should make people think twice. You are what your staff does.

  4. 2014 January 9 1:01 pm
    bc3b permalink

    Mullet –

    Could the Misery of Truth shine any light on why Snap card holders have enjoyed a 30+% increase in their benefits while Social Security recipients have only gotten about 1% during the same period.

    Mullet -That question is so easy that even a Minion Trainee Grade -6 like me can answer it:
    1. The majority of the SNAP recipients are Lord Obama’s and Eric Holder’s people; most Social Security recipients are not.
    2. The majority of SNAP card recipients faithfully vote for Lord Obama and the Democrats; the majority of Social Security recipients don’t
    3. This is about wealth distribution, something you will learn to appreciate when you visit us in Hut 1369
    4. Most Social Security recipients worked all their lives. Many SNAP card recipients have never worked. You wouldn’t want them to start working (and stop depending on the government), would you?

    I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

    Minion Trainee Grade -6 ID: 6592709006
    4th Basement – Wealth Redistribution Division

  5. 2014 January 9 4:34 pm
    justrand permalink

    Dear bc3b,

    You are hereby promoted to Minion Trainee Grade 5 (Probationary).

    Mullet, on the other hand, is hereby stripped of his extra rat-hindquarter (recently awarded).

    Minion Overlord, 2nd Class, Carrots & Sticks Coordinator
    MoT Bowel Level 4

  6. 2014 January 9 5:04 pm
    mulletover permalink

    I was really counting on the four grams of protein and 12 fat calories from that hindquarter this week.

    I guess it’s termites for me, if I can find some.

  7. 2014 January 9 5:17 pm

    ” You are what your staff does.” – Except if you are the lord Obama.

  8. 2014 January 9 6:18 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “That was essentially the case made by police union attorney John Barnett in his closing arguments on behalf of Ramos. Appealing to what he hopes is the latent authoritarianism of the Orange County jury, Barnett insisted that by provoking a confrontation with Thomas and then beating him into a coma, Ramos “did everything he could to keep the community safe…. Officer Ramos had a right to do exactly what he was doing.”

    From the perspective of Barnett and the police union that fills his doggie dish, when a policeman decides to kill someone, that person has a duty to die. As Rackauckas pointed out to the jury, this morally abhorrent view is a legal fiction – and police are aware of that fact.

    All bullying is based largely on bluff. Yousef Erakat, echoing the themes of the government-sponsored “anti-bullying” campaign, insists that witnesses have a moral obligation to call the bully’s bluff and, if necessary, interpose on behalf of a victim.

    Kelly Thomas was battered into a lifeless pulp in view of dozens of people who have been trained to think that this principle doesn’t apply to privileged bullies in government-issued attire.”

  9. 2014 January 9 6:21 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “America was supposed to be a society of freedom, which goes with the ideas of self-ownership and private property. Instead, we have democracy, which is majority rule at freedom’s expense.

    A society in which 51% of the people can vote to impose their will on the other 49%, and steal their stuff. That’s democracy, in a nutshell.

    As I mentioned in recent articles, it’s hard to get people to understand these things.

    The older people have grown (or regressed) to accept the statism that is imposed on them at the expense of freedom and prosperity.

    And the younger people are born into the society in which “normal” to them is their enslavement by the State to serve the State, and for the benefit of those who are employed by the State or who are the immediate recipients of forcibly redistributed wealth.”

  10. 2014 January 9 6:32 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “For those who want to live in a genuinely free, peaceful and prosperous society, you’ll have to accept the fact that the idea of “government as a necessary evil” is a myth. I know it’s an old cliché by now, but democracy really is “the god that failed,” for sure.

    Any institution and its agents who claim some authority over your life, the power to order you to do this or that, the power to force you to do extra labor to serve their needs, and the power to arrest and detain you for engaging in peaceful behaviors which harm no one, is an evil, criminal institution.”

  11. 2014 January 9 7:42 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “I’m very clear on what’s killing America. First, it’s Barack Obama and his socialist cabal. Even worse than socialist, most of them are Marxist. Second, it’s the lying politicians of both parties. They lie to cover up their true agenda, and they lie to cover up their incompetence. Third, it’s the lying media, up to their necks in a cover-up to support Obama and his destruction of the middle class and small business. Lastly, it’s the moderate GOP establishment in Washington, D.C. They are fraternizing with the enemy. They don’t care about us. They’re all good buddies in D.C. (BFFs, “best friends forever”), in bed together with a common cause: getting re-elected, guaranteeing their own golden parachute and setting their kids up for life, all at the expense of the rest of us.

    Lies are killing America. Everyone in D.C. lies to trick us, distract us and confuse us. Pretty soon, no one even knows what the truth is anymore. The biggest lie comes from Obama, moderate Republicans and the media elite, who are all in bed together, trying to convince us that only “moderation, cooperation and compromise” can save the GOP… and America. This is one of the greatest lies ever told.

    First of all, moderation won’t save the GOP. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact is the GOP has had a long list of moderate “saviors”:

    Gerald Ford: loser
    Bob Dole: loser
    George H.W. Bush: loser (to Bill Clinton)
    John McCain: loser
    Mitt Romney: loser

    So much for “moderation” winning elections for the GOP.”

  12. 2014 January 9 7:48 pm
    mulletover permalink

    My county sheriff cut himself a deal. He got 88 AR15’s for a couple of Tommy guns that were just laying around in his armory.

    Saved some taxpayer dollars, I suppose.

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