This just in from the Ministry of Truth! – February 6, 2014 Edition

2014 February 6
by justrand

MinistryTruthThe Ministry of Made Up Computational Knowledge (MUCK) today announced that for the week ending, well, last week, initial claims for state unemployment benefits declined 17,000 20,000 from 348,000 351,000 to 331,000.

Our Co-Conspirators Comrades at the A/P noted that this number was:

suggesting that Americans are facing fewer layoffs and better job prospects.

Last week you may recall (though “recalling” est Verbotten!) that the number rose 19,000, which the A/P said was:

suggesting that Americans are facing fewer layoffs and better job prospects.

And the week before that there had been a statistical anomaly wherein the number was UNCHANGED from the week before, which the A/P noted was:

suggesting that Americans are facing fewer layoffs and better job prospects.

If you were a “leading economist” this would, of course, make sense!  But since you are a mere dust-mote beneath Lord Obama’s bed not a “leading economist”, you can rest easy knowing the A/P is on the job!!

p.s. the A/P also concluded that today’s number is “evidence that job losses have waned“.  In case you, the Great Unwashed, did not get the memo, the word “evidence” is now defined as: “Shut up!”

Sadly, the evidence is also clear that we remain at war with Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia Eurasia EastAsia, whom we have always been at war with.

This week’s Public Service Announcement

prepHEither before, during or after the Super Bowl (it remains unclear) Bill “Knee-pads” O’Reilly serviced interviewed Lord Obama.

At some point during this, um, “process”, Lord Obama declared that there was “not even a smidgen of corruption” in the IRS’ handling of the TEA Party before, during and since the 2012 election.  Lois “The 5th” Lerner could not be reached for comment…stay tuned.

For some unknown reason, just 2 days later the new Director of the IRS apologized for the IRS’ actions relative to the TEA Party, as he was giving sworn testimony before Congress. The MoT expects a retraction of his apology at any moment!

Rest assured there is NOTHING TO SEE HERE…move along!  And, of course, Praise Allen!


27 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 February 6 11:49 am
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “It Always Starts With Progressivism……

    American Progressives, who had Grand Visions for how to organize life for Americans – including those Americans who had no desire to take part in the Grand Visions, tended to favor a legal system based upon malum prohibitum because they believed that individuals in society needed to conform to a set of social and political ideals created by the Great Superior Minds of Progressives. The idea that governments should not interfere with the routines of daily life – and especially those routines that involved mutually-consensual acts and the actions of the marketplace – was scorned by Progressives, who believed that individuals should not be permitted to act outside of boundaries set by political authorities who supposedly knew what was best for everyone else.

    Progressives relentlessly attacked social institutions that did not easily fit under the umbrella of state-based control, and over time those institutions – entities like religious groups, voluntary societies, and local education – succumbed to statist pressure. All of these actions took place under the guise of “reforms” in which society was to be centralized under federal power with Progressive intellectuals and “reformers” being the ones to determine the boundaries of conduct of individuals.”

  2. 2014 February 6 11:52 am
    drdog09 permalink

    “Nothing to see here!” Ok, then why did Louis Lerner plead the 5th?

  3. 2014 February 6 11:53 am
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “Every year, local, state, and federal agencies churn out thousands of new regulations, most of which have the power of law, with many carrying criminal penalties for people who violate them. Furthermore, the American courts have ruled time and again that “ignorance of the law is no excuse” for disobeying them.

    In other words – and I am not exaggerating here – every American is responsible for knowing every regulation and every law that is passed and, more important, must obey each one or face a penalty and even prison for failure to do so. For ordinary people, there is no exception unless a judge or administrator decides not to punish someone for violating a rule of which the person had no knowledge.

    There are classes of people that are exempt from having to know all of the laws and regulations, however: those charged with enforcing the laws, from administrators to police to prosecutors to judges. I am not kidding, nor do I exaggerate. The very people who are supposed to be the most intimate with laws and regulations because their very livelihoods rest upon their enforcement also are the very people who are legally permitted to be ignorant of such laws and regulations.”

  4. 2014 February 6 12:00 pm
    justrand permalink

    Dear drdog,

    Your question: ““Nothing to see here!” Ok, then why did Louis Lerner plead the 5th?” is an excellent one. We look to answering this question in depth, and so have arranged for you to be incarcerated at visit Hut 1369 in the very near future!

    Minion 888, Attitude Adjuster, 3rd Class
    MoT, Dungeon Level 13

  5. 2014 February 6 12:00 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “This is no accident. The tyrannical criminal law regime that grips America is what the Progressives wanted all along. They wanted Americans to have to live in fear of a powerful state that could and should tell them how to live, what to believe, and what to do. And the police state is what we have.”

  6. 2014 February 6 12:07 pm
    drdog09 permalink


    Bag is packed, waiting at the curb, at your convenience.

  7. 2014 February 6 12:11 pm
    drdog09 permalink


    Used to be if Mens Rea could be proved, courts let you skate. No longer.

  8. 2014 February 6 12:22 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    Here is a political “platform” I can agree with:


    39. What should the minimum wage be?

    Libertarian answer: There should be no minimum wage in the first place.

    40. For how long should unemployment benefits be extended?

    Libertarian answer: There should be no unemployment benefits to be extended.

    41. Should food stamp benefits be adjusted every year depending on the state of the economy?

    Libertarian answer: There should be no food stamp benefits to be adjusted.

    42. By what percentage should a businessman be able to raise prices in the aftermath of a disaster and not be guilty of price gouging?

    Libertarian answer: There should be no such thing as price gouging laws.

    43. What is the maximum interest rate that should be allowed on a credit card or a payday loan?

    Libertarian answer: There should be no government regulation of interest rates to being with.”

  9. 2014 February 6 12:25 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    #7 Yep, police state – 1984

    Hey here is a question for anyone here: I know Liberal/Statists are into redefining language and doublespeak but what is up with this new and incessant use of the word “community”? To me, its their attempt to replace the words “communism” and “socialism” and “authoritrian government” with a word that has positive connections with most people. I mean, who doesn’t like a good “community”.

  10. 2014 February 6 12:28 pm
    Wylie E. Coyote permalink

    “Conservative and liberal debates over public policy are utterly meaningless. Not only do they not have the right answers; they don’t even ask the right questions.”

  11. 2014 February 6 1:46 pm

    Fyi for anyone with Comcast (change your account\ email password asap), their webmail system was completely compromised and in the course the attackers got access to the master account user\pass’s of it seems like ALL customers.

    Interestingly Comcast isn’t saying a word (will not confirm or deny), though they did take their mail servers offline last night to finally push out the patch that prevents the exploit from being used again. (one they had been warned about from the vendor) Epic fail.

  12. 2014 February 6 1:57 pm

    Turkey to block anything “insulting” on the web, without any court oversight.

  13. 2014 February 6 2:00 pm
    drdog09 permalink

    Is the WH folding on OCare? — — I don’t know, but yet again another case of modification of law without authority. Damn Tyrant.

  14. 2014 February 6 2:31 pm

    15 – What’s next a three year extension via declaration of his term in office?

  15. 2014 February 6 3:23 pm
    bc3b permalink

    69 inches of snow fir the Detroit area with a month and a half left in winter. Only two days with highs abo0ve freezing since January 1. Where’s Al Bore?

  16. 2014 February 6 3:39 pm
    drdog09 permalink

    Philly Phil is probably right about 6 more wks of winter isn’t he?

  17. 2014 February 6 5:45 pm
    justrand permalink

    we need your Winter…please send it to “California, C/O Justrand” thanks!! 🙂

  18. 2014 February 6 7:11 pm
    JustMary permalink

    We got a pretty decent amount of rain today, praise Allen! I replaced my wiper blades yesterday in anticipation, and I was not let down!

  19. 2014 February 6 7:12 pm
    JustMary permalink

    My dream is that SoCal gets snow this summer. 😀 Someone please book Algore’s flight and make this happen!

  20. 2014 February 6 7:31 pm
    mulletover permalink

    Oh noz, my mute button is going to get even busier.

    Add the Chrome Dome to the growing list. Geraldo, Juan, Sally in her man suits.

  21. 2014 February 7 4:32 am
    drdog09 permalink

    Tough luck…

    On February 5, 2014, the 21st Judicial District Grand Jury returned a No Bill on Capital Murder charges against Henry Goedrick Magee, II, who was the individual who shot and killed Investigator Sergeant Adam Sowders on December 19, 2013 in Burleson County, Texas. Sergeant Sowders was a member of the Burleson County SWAT team that executed a “no-knock” search warrant on Magee’s residence. The Grand Jury did, however, return an indictment for “Possession of Marijuana more than 4 oz. but less than 5 lbs.” while in possession of a deadly weapon, a third degree felony. A third degree felony has a range of punishment for 2-10 years.

    Grand Jury returns `no charges` as a result of a man defending his home. Yes he’s a perp for other reasons. I expect a lot more of this in the years to come as The People saddle up to the Texas Castle Doctrine. My sympathies to Officer Sowders family, but police better wise up that no knock raids are a death trap. And there ought to be a judicial review of the judge who signed off on it.

  22. 2014 February 7 5:04 am
    drdog09 permalink

    You shall be assimilated — — answer the race question or you can’t see a doctor. If there is a choice for `other` select it. No American is a pure blood of anything, mongrels that we are.

  23. 2014 February 7 7:20 am
    justrand permalink

    drdog, I routinely check “Native American”…because I was born here, and am thus “native” to this country! Unlike the Slime-in-Chief.

  24. 2014 February 7 10:03 am

    23 – Indeed

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